(((( I AM NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN SO IF YOU GET EASILY OFFENDED DONT BLAME ME ))) Pretty cool story but its not at its full potential due to grammatical errors and characters being a bit 2 dimensional the interactions between characters are rushed and sloppy like i said good idea but poor way of excuting said idea my suggestions for the author to improve is read some stories and focus primarily on interactions between characters and how the author portrays their emotions good luck
FYDemonVenerable
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LIKEFYDemonVenerable:well thnx man i really need it this piece of advice