Review Detail of Katzenliebe in New World's End
Review detail
I think, personally, it's more of a mystery than a fantasy (Although there are very fantasy...like things in it). I really liked it and everything flowed nicely. I personally think that the usage of the First PoV (idk how to say it) worked really well in this scenario and it was easy to make sense of everything. It sounds like those old RLS (Robert Louis Stevenson, I searched up RLS and got restless leg syndrome O.o) novels with all the harbours and stuff. I thought at first, this was sort of like a poe thing, but then it sort of just gradually changed to RLS. The description was also really detailed and I really really liked the idea of the channeling rod (I thought TV remote when I read it at first tbh). There was only one thing that I wasn't too sure of and it was that the quotations weren't really consistent (or it's a grammar rule I don't know about). Sometimes there would be this... idk... a comma then a colon then a comma then a colon and I would just go... ?. It didn't really interfere with reading it so I didn't really care about it much. (I was just wondering if it's okay to have a sentence like: "I like cats, " said Raisins. He ate a couple of raisins. "Hey!" because I'm not totally sure.) The only thing that I thought I should mention that was completely personal was the switch between third and first PoV. The three dots helped a lot with knowing when it was going to happen and I could tell that it was (usually) only used to foreshadow or explain some event that the MC couldn't have known about.
New World's End
TailsOfHope
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Thanks for that! I love the detail you have gone into here for me. I really appreciate it. Hey, I'm excited now! I get to chat to someone about grammar xD - yes, the dialogue is correct in that respect. Let me show you some variations: 1. "Don't run in the hallway," Mike said. (Active voice, dialogue tag) 2. Mike glared at the kids running in the hallway and said this: "Don't run in the hallway!" (Passive voice, colon used - bad example but all I could think of on the fly) 3. Mike glared at the kids running in the hallway and said, "Don't run in the hallway!" (Active voice, dialogue tag with comma) 4. "Don't run in the hallway," Mike said. As they rounded the corner, he shook his head. "Kids these days." (Initial piece of dialogue is tagged with Mike. New sentence, same subject, second piece of dialogue is clearly still Mike talking. No comma, because it's implied ownership, rather than a direct tag) 5. "Don't run in the hallway," Mike said, "you'll hurt yourself!" (Mike is directly saying both of these things and no separate action is happening, he is tagged in both sections of dialogue). I hope that helps!
TailsOfHope:The whole purpose behind those variations is to do just that: add variation. It makes the dialogue more interesting that way.
TailsOfHope:Thanks for that! I love the detail you have gone into here for me. I really appreciate it. Hey, I'm excited now! I get to chat to someone about grammar xD - yes, the dialogue is correct in that respect. Let me show you some variations: 1. "Don't run in the hallway," Mike said. (Active voice, dialogue tag) 2. Mike glared at the kids running in the hallway and said this: "Don't run in the hallway!" (Passive voice, colon used - bad example but all I could think of on the fly) 3. Mike glared at the kids running in the hallway and said, "Don't run in the hallway!" (Active voice, dialogue tag with comma) 4. "Don't run in the hallway," Mike said. As they rounded the corner, he shook his head. "Kids these days." (Initial piece of dialogue is tagged with Mike. New sentence, same subject, second piece of dialogue is clearly still Mike talking. No comma, because it's implied ownership, rather than a direct tag) 5. "Don't run in the hallway," Mike said, "you'll hurt yourself!" (Mike is directly saying both of these things and no separate action is happening, he is tagged in both sections of dialogue). I hope that helps!
You'll find it in most novels! :) in fact, I'd be really surprised if you didn't. Emily Bronte comes to mind but I'm pretty sure every author I've read does it ^. ^ Unless I'm confusing what you're asking
Katzenliebe:ohh cos I've never seen it and thought hm? hmm??
tbh most of the novels I read are pirated books online and they have so many errors in them that I don't actually notice if it's an error or the right thing O.ooo
TailsOfHope:You'll find it in most novels! :) in fact, I'd be really surprised if you didn't. Emily Bronte comes to mind but I'm pretty sure every author I've read does it ^. ^ Unless I'm confusing what you're asking
O.oooo thanks for the offer, I would extend it but I'm afraid I would probably make more mistakes than help. But same thing bacc OvO
TailsOfHope:You don't need to steal! Just message me if you ever need and I can run you through whatever :)
Though stories are subjective to enjoyment, I've got a lot of experience writing for businesses so I can certainly give advice on structure, and grammar. Though, one thing you can't get enough of is bouncing ideas. So, we can always help each other by providing a different perspective on something ^.^
Katzenliebe:O.oooo thanks for the offer, I would extend it but I'm afraid I would probably make more mistakes than help. But same thing bacc OvO