Review Detail of Shavalod in The Illicitous Dungeon
Review detail
This is what Blue Core lacked or should have been. Great pace, witty plot twists, smexy scenes, and great world-building. Two critiques from my side. I don't think it is beneficial to reveal the MC's background that "easily" the mystery is often that carries the story, to hunger for more knowledge. The other point is to read up on synonyms for reproductive parts :D
The Illicitous Dungeon
Wolfick
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Thanks for your review! Well, i did contemplate extending the mystery, but in the end felt it served better as background on the mc. As for descriptive words, i have used more flowery language for it in other instances, and there are a hell of a lot of ways to describe things haha, but in the end it came down to the nature of the act in this novel. It is in its essence a brutish act, therefore i have chosen to write it with more brutish words. It will of course be revised during the editing process for the sellable book, so it may change a bit in nature. As much as i liked Blue Core, i think my single, greatest gripe was how everyone essentially used the mc in one way or another. Ever since the first girl who “gave herself in her entirety” to him, yet her loyalties still remained elsewhere. Anyway, thank you for your review! I had some time before sleep so thought i may as well say hello. ^.^
Sleep well, you need strength to churn out more chapters for me :O Now that you mention it, Blue was used by pretty much everyone, his compensation was to be OP, but not in a healthy sense plot-wise. I hope you didn't misunderstand. I wasn't knocking your description of the smexy times themselves. In one chapter you used v***** 4 times in a row, and while certainly descriptive, c***, p****, t***, and q*** are as brash and keep the flow going :D Oh god, what have I become...
Wolfick:Thanks for your review! Well, i did contemplate extending the mystery, but in the end felt it served better as background on the mc. As for descriptive words, i have used more flowery language for it in other instances, and there are a hell of a lot of ways to describe things haha, but in the end it came down to the nature of the act in this novel. It is in its essence a brutish act, therefore i have chosen to write it with more brutish words. It will of course be revised during the editing process for the sellable book, so it may change a bit in nature. As much as i liked Blue Core, i think my single, greatest gripe was how everyone essentially used the mc in one way or another. Ever since the first girl who “gave herself in her entirety” to him, yet her loyalties still remained elsewhere. Anyway, thank you for your review! I had some time before sleep so thought i may as well say hello. ^.^
Oh, not at all, i dont take offense to things so people are completely free to express themselves (to me, but be respectful to other readers of course haha).
Shavalod:Sleep well, you need strength to churn out more chapters for me :O Now that you mention it, Blue was used by pretty much everyone, his compensation was to be OP, but not in a healthy sense plot-wise. I hope you didn't misunderstand. I wasn't knocking your description of the smexy times themselves. In one chapter you used v***** 4 times in a row, and while certainly descriptive, c***, p****, t***, and q*** are as brash and keep the flow going :D Oh god, what have I become...image
If you think it is a good thing that people are respectful to other readers, you should not cut yourself too short you are a person after all too.
Wolfick:Oh, not at all, i dont take offense to things so people are completely free to express themselves (to me, but be respectful to other readers of course haha).