The idea is original but while usually i dont really care about grammar and punctuation,the sentences structuring makes it hard to read and immerse yourself in the story. But the biggest downside for me, and thats a personal opinion, is that your first few chapters should only be about the mc, yet all 4 of the first chapters have different 1rst person povs wich is one of the things i dislike the most since i like to immerse myself in the mc and i dont have split personalities.
Chinixx_kim
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