Review Detail of GrotesqueIce in FALLEN: HER TEMPTATION

Item: FALLEN: HER TEMPTATION
Rating: 4.4

Review detail

GrotesqueIceLv23yrGrotesqueIce

Description wise, it is very well written. But sometimes I'm confused as to who is speaking. A little inconsistency with the phasing of third or first or if it was the main character's thoughts. It would be helpful to put single quotation marks if you want to highlight the character's inner voice (just a suggestion). Also the tenses are sometimes are inconsistent. But all those are just normal and it will be easy to correct. Overall, the story is good. I'm interested about their connection to each other. I'd keep reading and look forward to more of your story. Keep it up. I wish you the best!

FALLEN: HER TEMPTATION

AnaRose

Liked by 1 people

Replies3

AnaRoseAuthorAnaRose

Thank you, I appreciate it so much! I had written everything from the FL point of view at first but decided to edit everything at once to third-person. I guess I missed a lot of areas where it wasn't switched. I'll try to be more careful... I appreciate your honest review, thank you!😊

3yr

GrotesqueIceLv2GrotesqueIce

Oh.. I had the same thing did with mine. What a coincidence. You are welcome. I wish you the best.

AnaRose:Thank you, I appreciate it so much! I had written everything from the FL point of view at first but decided to edit everything at once to third-person. I guess I missed a lot of areas where it wasn't switched. I'll try to be more careful... I appreciate your honest review, thank you!😊

3yr

AnaRoseAuthorAnaRose

Oh damn that is a coincidence 😂

GrotesqueIce:Oh.. I had the same thing did with mine. What a coincidence. You are welcome. I wish you the best.

3yr