Review Detail of Foxner in Chosen by Fate, Rejected by the Alpha

So far this has been a great web novel! The writing quality is great: there are little to no syntax and grammatical errors. The novel does an excellent job to arouse emotions. You grow to hate some characters who I won't spoil and you share the joy of other characters. Additionally, I love the level of detail such as the different cultures of species and the addition of different barriers such as the language barrier. The author put a lot of thought and effort into writing this story. I only have a few critiques: (1) The antagonist is just pure evil while the protagonist is purely good. Although I call this a criticism, this is actually perfectly fine and just means this falls into the genre of high fantasy. It's just that I personally wish for a more mixed protagonist and antagonist (However, I suspect the purely evil antagonist in volumes 1-2 will be addressed in the future). (2) This is probably one of my biggest critiques and nearly caused me to postpone my reading of the novel. At the start of volume 3 (after the side stories), it was rather 'boring.' Don't get me wrong, there were fun times reading up until the fae Kingdom visit, however, what was boring was there wasn't really any overarching goal or driving force for the story. It was just stopping in to check in on Trinity for holidays. There just wasn't any conflict. For sometime I was even thinking that maybe volume 2 was the official ending of the novel (which isn't true). Additionally, the story development felt rather slow during this time. I would like to call most of those chapters as fluff. But the story kicked back up and the ball got rolling again. However, I'm sure that some people really enjoyed those fluff chapters, it's just for me personally, I thought a lot could have been skipped and summarized. (3) Now, I doubt not many people would have this as a critique to the story and personally, I wouldn't call this a problem with the story. It's just, I study political science and international affairs and just took an extra in depth look into the most recent Kingdom building. I think the structure of the government should have been slightly different since the protagonist wanted separation of powers and equal representation. Additionally, the jargon for law wasn't really used and the laws themselves should have covered a little more aspects. An example would be clearly defining the rights of the people (ex: all peoples are allowed to and obliged to pursue respect, dignity, truth, and justice). There's also the matter of the composition of the council. Normally it is unwise to allow those of other states to interfere with the sovereignty of your own state (of course there are exceptions but the structure the author created allows for the same rights of citizens to foreign delegates). Additionally, I love the representation of females but what about people of the LGBTQ+ community. There are quite a few other critiques about the kingdom building such as the economy, currency, banking, and other treasury matters. There was some education but not much. There was nothing about health care and food, labor, or really anything else. The most talked about was military. The last criticisms I will include in this critique about the kingdom building is the lack of opposition. Although I believe most of the above kingdom building critiques I gave are a bit extra, I definitely think some form of opposition should have been written about. There are so many different species all coming from different cultures and backgrounds from around the world that it was shocking that Trinity proposed every law and everyone agreed. There was 0 deliberation. For example, would a wolf coming from a communist society such as North Korea really agree with a wolf coming from a heavily democratic society such as the US about political matters such as freedom vs security? Or would all wolves truly agree to have equal power with minority species despite wolves making up 1/3 of the world's population? I think These would have been quite intriguing to explore. These do not have a right or wrong answer and moreover, even if there were a wrong answer, it's OK to not choose the right one. The protagonist shouldn't be perfect. I think that's what really made the first volume of the novel amazing. It was the fact that characters were flawed. Overall, I really enjoyed and appreciated the kingdom building aspect to the story. Although if Trinity and her kingdom were pitted to real life standards, the kingdom would have quite a large amount of problems and Trinity would be unfit to govern. However, I don't blame the author for not being an expert in political science and international affairs. Honestly, the author did a great job. This kingdom building part of the story was simple, easy to understand, and quick to the point which is all great for the story progression and audience. If you were to try to add everything that would go into a real life kingdom building process this novel would probably more than double in size. Conclusion: I think this is an amazing web novel. Especially the first volume. What really dragged me into the novel was how real the characters felt. I mentioned this previously but the reads could feel hatred towards some characters and jot for others. Additionally, characters were flawed, making them more similar to reality and quite relatable. The second volume was good, not as good as the first though. It was turned more into good vs evil. However, I hade the most problems with the third volume. It had a lot of fluff in the beginning but then became very interesting. I loved the kingdom building aspect as well, although this is very unrealistic. I think volume 3 will still be about good vs evil since there are never any character flaws and when there is one, it's labeled as that character is evil thus they die or are threatened. I am excited to see where this story goes but I do hope to see more character flaws. Adding character flaws will really make this novel many times better since that is what hooked me in the first volume.