Review Detail of AxlSLL in Outside Paradise

This is a refreshing plot. The main character's mental and emotional decadence is something that you, the author, have executed well. His actions and thoughts are goodly defined. The same goes for the other characters. The setting also gives me 1984 vibes, which I really like. However, you sometimes overextend with your descriptions, and lots of your sentences are awkward to read. Try using more commas instead of abusing the word "and". Your paragraphs can be too long sometimes. This makes them tedious to read. Try dividing them into smaller paragraphs and use more periods. Otherwise this is a good work. Keep working on it.