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Review Detail of mujaki2 in Sin of Kin

Review detail

mujaki2
mujaki2Lv151yrmujaki2

You are not smart enough to read this! If you take machine translation to the extreme opposite side, this is what you would get. What I'm saying is that rather than too little English, there is far too much! You'll need a dictionary or thesaurus handy for the large words and transliteration. Be ready to experience "the abortion of a rainbow", and "divorce" yourself from beautiful scenery. (actual descriptions from the novel) The metaphors are hot and heavy and plentiful. The story itself is genius and multilayered, but you may have to be one to catch all the nuances. You may notice I'm not a fan of excessive flowery language. But if you are able to absorb and understand complex writing, this ultra descriptive story will entrance you.

altalt

Sin of Kin

Houraji

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Replies3

Houraji
HourajiAuthorHouraji

Now that you mentioned it... the descriptions you mentioned. Now I just realize if that sounded so... weird >< You're right, I was overdoing it >< too many "weird words" I've used in those old chapters. That must be incredibly frustrating experience >< because It's almost two years since I wrote those, that's why btw I'm currently rewriting a few beginning chapters. And for the latest ones, I try to minimize the use of "weird words" In spite of that, I wish you had a great enjoyable time when reading this story. Thank you for reading this story and pointing out its issues through this review of yours as my self-correction to improve the story. Thank you. Thank you very much ><

Fabian_Ma
Fabian_MaLv15Fabian_Ma

I realize that this is a pretty late reply but rather than the use of advanced vocabulary, it is your grammar that is the real issue. I do not mean any offence but the way you build your sentences is just horrible and makes it terribly difficult to read. we can't really immerse ourselves in the story because we have to stop and reread like every second sentence. those with poor English comprehension will have a very hard time even understanding a dialogue or monologe. despite that, for those with advanced English comprehension, it is a very good story. its very original and unique. if only the grammar was a little better, it would be easy to lose oneself while reading. I heard there is some kind of program or application for Gramma check purposes. it will kinda point out any grammar issue and provide a possible correction. don't know what its named tho. I suggest you try and contact other authors. most are pretty easy to talk to. they might be able to help you, might even provide some inspiration.

Houraji:Now that you mentioned it... the descriptions you mentioned. Now I just realize if that sounded so... weird >< You're right, I was overdoing it >< too many "weird words" I've used in those old chapters. That must be incredibly frustrating experience >< because It's almost two years since I wrote those, that's why btw I'm currently rewriting a few beginning chapters. And for the latest ones, I try to minimize the use of "weird words" In spite of that, I wish you had a great enjoyable time when reading this story. Thank you for reading this story and pointing out its issues through this review of yours as my self-correction to improve the story. Thank you. Thank you very much ><
Houraji
HourajiAuthorHouraji

I apologize for a late reply. And apologize for my very bad grammar, because English is not my native >< But eh, that's not a reason to justify my downright bad grammar, and not to improve it... I've read your suggestion, and I really appreciate it. About the grammar app, I think it's called Grammarly. Many authors already mentioned it, and I heard many cons and pros surrounding it as well. But there are still many grammar tools out there other than that which I haven't tried yet. Honestly, I do use grammar tools, but only to check typos nothing else unfortunately, then edit the grammar mistake by myself. But since my grammar still suck, well... maybe I do have to do more communications with other authors... And yeah, I'll try to do what you just suggested... thanks again for your suggestions ><

Fabian_Ma:I realize that this is a pretty late reply but rather than the use of advanced vocabulary, it is your grammar that is the real issue. I do not mean any offence but the way you build your sentences is just horrible and makes it terribly difficult to read. we can't really immerse ourselves in the story because we have to stop and reread like every second sentence. those with poor English comprehension will have a very hard time even understanding a dialogue or monologe. despite that, for those with advanced English comprehension, it is a very good story. its very original and unique. if only the grammar was a little better, it would be easy to lose oneself while reading. I heard there is some kind of program or application for Gramma check purposes. it will kinda point out any grammar issue and provide a possible correction. don't know what its named tho. I suggest you try and contact other authors. most are pretty easy to talk to. they might be able to help you, might even provide some inspiration.