Review Detail of HaRi_SrI_T in -_-_-_
Review detail
I am a new writer so there might be spelling or grammatical mistakes I didn't see, so do comment on them if you find them. fate is a introvert mc and doesn't like to talk to others and there aren't that many fight scenes in the start ( they are still at mortal rank there isn't anything special about those fights) . and the novel is also fast pacing. SPOILERS AHEAD fate's family is a mysterious one and fate ran away from home cause he wants to prove he can earn money by himself and fate is a arrogant mc but the kind of arrogance where he thinks he can do anything as long as he tried enough . yeah if this is the only thing it won't be called arrogance anyway do read the story [img=recommend]
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HaRi_SrI_T
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d3m81:Okay as I don't feel like posting an actual review about this, I'm going to post the one big problem I've found while reading your novel here. The novel reads more like a script for a screenplay with the 'Fate entered ...' 'Fate did this' etc.. Try to show what is happening instead of simply telling the readers. For example: "The knight stabbed him in the chest. 'aaaarg,' he screamed as he looked at the knight with fury in his eyes and said. 'I'll kill you!'" versus "He felt the cold metal lodged in his chest and let out a pained scream, with fury in his eyes he growled. 'I'll kill you!'"
Okay as I don't feel like posting an actual review about this, I'm going to post the one big problem I've found while reading your novel here. The novel reads more like a script for a screenplay with the 'Fate entered ...' 'Fate did this' etc.. Try to show what is happening instead of simply telling the readers. For example: "The knight stabbed him in the chest. 'aaaarg,' he screamed as he looked at the knight with fury in his eyes and said. 'I'll kill you!'" versus "He felt the cold metal lodged in his chest and let out a pained scream, with fury in his eyes he growled. 'I'll kill you!'"