Review Detail of Kronos333 in Rebirth: Mysterious dragon emperor dxd

well, I read the 2 chapters this morning and since then I started thinking of leaving a comment, now this is constructive criticism and you can ignore everything I write here if you want. first. please don't use this style of writing, putting the name of the person before their dialogs is just so low-level writing that it breaks any immersion in the story, if you're writing this ff then you should have read other ff before, and although this method is used in some of them I highly recommend against using it. second, please use Grammarly is a free program that needs little effort to use, it will help you greatly in avoiding grammar errors, I'm using it now in my cellphone while writing this. third. into the story, the start feels to cringe,.that his soul was special or want, it would be better if you rewrite that and just put that the dragon took a random soul and after watching his memories decided that it was as good as any and be done, also, please don't write about how intelligent the mc is, it only causes cringe, better save that for afterward and instead of just telling us, show it with acts, I dunno what but its always better to make it an action than leave it at words, even better if you don't idolize your mc as it becomes bothersome it would be better to just make him a normal person. fourth, I at least like the fact that you're creating an OC dragon to pair, as its not a thing I see done too much on did ff its interesting so far, but I would like to know what is his power and what does stealing the omnipotence of God means as it rings many alarms in me, as any form you use omnipotence would kill your story in different forms. fifth. I assure you that I fear for what his father will tell him because I just have this feeling that it will just cringe or a complete convenience for him in any way, that he has the blood of any nonhuman race or is involved with any faction will just feel empty if he didn't grow already knowing it. six. the baby part 'comedy' is just too cringe and almost any novel that has it makes me cringe. end of this point. seven. as a recommendation, I suggest writing in the summary if he's going to become part of any perage as a devil or is he going the human-dragon route or anything like that cause that is gonna decide if some people read this story or not if he's going devil and you're making an OC dragon I suggest leaving issei with rias as cannon and just making your mc follow another way. eight. I can think of other things right now but I would need to see more chapters to comment more like just the above refers to what is and not what I believe you will write. so if you write more without changing anything then good luck, I liked the idea but the way it is done is just not for me.

also, please move this into the ff category, as I found it in the originals tag.

I am really grateful that you took your time to give your honest opinion and such nice suggestions. I just wanted to try a hand at writing this , I am not going pro with this or anything and for this novel to be in the novel section. I really didn't know how to put it under fanfic , it was just the create option and no other choice was in it(or I could not find it) but I will try to take your advice and start from scratch with a fanfic and improve my writing skills. So thanks

can you upload more like three times a week

Bro I will write a new novel in fanfic version with the same plot but with some character tweaks pls wait for some days.