Review Detail of Southpaw97 in Journey Of A Legend
Review detail
This story does have potential. But there are some problems that I find. If the author reads these hopefully he can answer some of my question that I have. For the record I am caught up to the latest chapter and will continue reading for sure. For the Writing Quality theres alot of grammatical errors and misspelled words that do need to be fixed. English might not be their first language and that's totally cool but theres alot that need to be updated. Story Development is interesting but it feels like a train with no brakes. Very fast paced. This isn't a bad thing but keep in mind that your Character Development bbn and World Building could suffer from the pace your setting. You arent even 100 Chapters in and it feels like he already God level. I believe the story would benefit more if there more time spent on him training his and other powers so we understand everyone's power level. This goes hand in hand with Character Design. Everyone feels flat. Secrecy is good but we know next to nothing about the MCs friend or Best Friend. Nor do we know why William is the way he is. Emma seems to be the classic soft hearted healer. She, in my opinion could be more of a personality or just different. Alice is also very flat so far. Is she suppose to be a companion? is she just a glorified assistant? I have a feeling that she could be so much more, such as taking the initiative and using her animal forms. The MC himself also need a bit more design. Especially when is comes to his background and the World background in general. What happened to his parents and family? What is his motivation to obtain power? What about him makes him be worthy to obtain a Pure Soul? Not to mention this Acedemy. Is it special? How is the MC able to go to a Acedemy even though hes an orphan? The back ground need a lot more fleshing out. Such as the the Countries on Earth. What is the Federation? What's the big deal about the 5 Great Families? What's society and the Government like? What role does the Association play in the Government? Where is the setting of the story? US? Europe? Asia? Or because of how the Calamities changed the landscape, is there even any old Governments left? I feel like so far that the story is sprinting on and not pausing the look at the scenery.
Journey Of A Legend
Gery_
Liked by 10 people
LIKEReplies6
Hi thank you very much for your review and what you said is very true, so I will try and look for it. Firstly I will introduce the characters in much detail after the tournament arc is set, this was my early plan. As for Greg's background everything will be clear as the story goes on and I don't really want to spoil things early. For Alice, she is a much complex character. She will also get much more introduction in the later chapters. I planned to open the world before Greg after the tournament too with explaining the whole federation and 5 great family thing. As for the god level, you don't need to worry, because from the third rank as I said Greg will have a much harder time to level up and there will be another aspect which will make the whole ranking up exciting. I will try to pace everything else and try to look for my grammer, but unfortunately I'm from Hungary and I'm not a native English speaker, but I will try. But I really appreciate your review. :)
Wow I wasnt expecting a reply so fast lol. but that's good to hear. I guess I'm personally more partial to the idea of explaining the world in full first rather then a gradual understanding. Interesting decision though to have a Acedemy setting but no lectures or tests where this could have been a great opportunity to provide background and only it be a combat class. Considering other stories, dont you think not having classes limits and alot of social interactions and growth of characters?
Gery_:Hi thank you very much for your review and what you said is very true, so I will try and look for it. Firstly I will introduce the characters in much detail after the tournament arc is set, this was my early plan. As for Greg's background everything will be clear as the story goes on and I don't really want to spoil things early. For Alice, she is a much complex character. She will also get much more introduction in the later chapters. I planned to open the world before Greg after the tournament too with explaining the whole federation and 5 great family thing. As for the god level, you don't need to worry, because from the third rank as I said Greg will have a much harder time to level up and there will be another aspect which will make the whole ranking up exciting. I will try to pace everything else and try to look for my grammer, but unfortunately I'm from Hungary and I'm not a native English speaker, but I will try. But I really appreciate your review. :)
Yeah that's a great idea, I will try and make just what you said. I have a few great ideas how to make it like example an exchange programm ar something like that and while that happens I will try and make the character design as detailed as possible, while I also explaining the world around the MC for the readers. However for the pacing for Greg and Alice is a bit unique so I don't really want to hurry it, even if it seems that they have none, because they have but this time only a very very tiny. But in the later chapters they will get much more especially Alice. For me she is the hardest to explain.
Southpaw97:Wow I wasnt expecting a reply so fast lol. but that's good to hear. I guess I'm personally more partial to the idea of explaining the world in full first rather then a gradual understanding. Interesting decision though to have a Acedemy setting but no lectures or tests where this could have been a great opportunity to provide background and only it be a combat class. Considering other stories, dont you think not having classes limits and alot of social interactions and growth of characters?
Oh and for the last question you asked(Sorry I forgot to answer), yeah it's hard, but I wanted to try out something new, because almost every novel has the same class type, so I thought what if I try to make an Academy where there is no lecture but instead only fighting? well this is my first time to do that, but I will try my best to make the character design much better while making the interaction and the social part you mentioned as good as I can
Southpaw97:Wow I wasnt expecting a reply so fast lol. but that's good to hear. I guess I'm personally more partial to the idea of explaining the world in full first rather then a gradual understanding. Interesting decision though to have a Acedemy setting but no lectures or tests where this could have been a great opportunity to provide background and only it be a combat class. Considering other stories, dont you think not having classes limits and alot of social interactions and growth of characters?
Yeah that an interesting take for sure. I like it. I'm also curious about the families and the other cities. Do you intend the to be other families other then the Great 5? And is everyone in the family a relation or is it more like a Clan or Faction you can join? And do these families control a city or something like that?
Gery_:Oh and for the last question you asked(Sorry I forgot to answer), yeah it's hard, but I wanted to try out something new, because almost every novel has the same class type, so I thought what if I try to make an Academy where there is no lecture but instead only fighting? well this is my first time to do that, but I will try my best to make the character design much better while making the interaction and the social part you mentioned as good as I can
Each family is like a clan where people can join, but the core of it are all relatives. for example the Charon family's core are only Charon, but out of it there could be people who are not relatives. However the Voodoo family( which will be in the future) is a more complex family and they don't work in the same way as the Charons or the other three families. But with the story everything will be explained and I try to make it as clear as I can.
Southpaw97:Yeah that an interesting take for sure. I like it. I'm also curious about the families and the other cities. Do you intend the to be other families other then the Great 5? And is everyone in the family a relation or is it more like a Clan or Faction you can join? And do these families control a city or something like that?