Review Detail of Phoenix_Paradise in The Lost Heir (A Harry Potter Fanfic)

Well, I tried changing that from the criticisms I kept receiving. So I just made it more difficult for him to cast it. I want him to actually have the reason to make the Fire Patronus, so I made it like that. I hope you like the change though.

Harem...?

No harem. Teenage drama and love triangles at most, but never harem. I do like the concept, but it just destroys the image of the Harry Potter world.

Não sei qual o problema com o harém harry potter é praticamente o mundo real com mágicos escondidos aqui no Brasil mesmo tem um cantor de funk que tem umas 5 mulheres e mais de 30 filhos então para mim séria normal um harém no mundo de harry potter

I hate reading triangles, when it starts im out

Name one. One Harry Potter character with a 'harem.' That's what I thought. You're talking about a singer in Brazil, this is not Brazil, it's England, and even people like Lucius Malfoy have only one wife, and I can easily see him thinking he's better than woman for just being born a man, still has one wife though. I don't like Harem, at all, one wife is enough, but here, it would be even worse because harems in Harry Potter just don't work, at least not without looking out of place in the world.

Noice but you could've just used the reason about the origin of the fire patronus existing being because he wanted a more offensive patronus charm, not just one that works on Dementors and their "relative" (they look like a floating cloak). But still noice anyway you did it.

don't make a love triangle man. It will really make it a drama that's not HP ff is about. At least that's what I think

It is well know that true dark wizards can't cast the patronus charm we never really know how far Snape went into the dark arts. But we see that other than Snape no other death eaters ever cast a patrons charm he may be able to do it due to his love of lilly

Why cant he just have an intrest in learning it I mean the normal one only repels dark creatures while I asume the burning one burns them. Also you can later say that Grindelfald lied to him and he can cast the fiddelius he just doesent have a happy enogh memory. And really how is knowing how to cast dark magic a detergent for learning it did he cast the unforgivables a hundred times or smt. Or was it the cat killing.

Why did you stop writing this fanfic? It has been my first and most favorite Harry Potter Fanfic

hope you update it

To be fair, Snape's patronous is basically Lily and his view of Lily is...let's go with "of questionable health". As far as I'm aware, he's the only Dark Wizard in Harry Potter who ever uses a patronous. That doesn't mean Dark Wizards can't, but it does mean there is circumstantial evidence about it. This can be seen as having nothing to do with good and evil but instead is because dark magic uses negative emotions to empower it (I'm pretty sure Rowling's background lore said something like that) and so nurtures a certain way of thinking that probably would be incompatible with casting something like a patronous.

Not particularly. Considering the time period they're stuck in, having concubines when you're magically powerful and/or wealthy would be extremely likely. Especially with their culture fascination with people who are magically powerful.

I know it's late, but that's actually worse than your original reason. Your original could at least be kept if you made sure to remember to present Snape and other dark wizards as unable to cast a Patronus. Trying to forcibly railroad things how you want is a VERY bad way to write a story. It's been three years, so you probably learned that. I'm just putting this here for any budding writers reading it. Make your setting, make your characters, and set them loose. Never ever try to force them to behave how or do what you want. Because it will always stand out as nonsensical and clash with the story itself. For the course their actions take, provide the characters with values, motives, and goals. The "why" the reader is presented with these characters in particular out of all the people in the world that they're in.

How in the world does it destroy the image? I'd find it quite fitting. Sure, one couple marriage, but definitely seems like the kind of setting that would have concubines.