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Aislinn_Jasper
Aislinn_JasperLv33yrAislinn_Jasper

Well, your storyline is superb I liked it. The way it is kind of mysterious and a bit of thriller I liked reading it. The chapters seem interesting. Recommended to everyone. Suggestions which I would like to give is, firstly, make your paragraphs a bit short. Lengthy paragraphs make readers lose their interest. Secondly, try to write more dialogues don't convey everything in paragraphs. When a reader reads the dialogue with a small description of how it is said, the reader can visualize each and every dialogue. Thirdly, write descriptive paragraphs, like how the school of Dazzle looked like or how she looked like. Description of is necessary for a novel. Try to describe the person and place to make readers visualize them. Fourthly, don't leave a space between a word and punctuation. That is all I want to say.. All the best for your upcoming chapters :)

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daphneanmarcia

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daphneanmarcia
daphneanmarciaAuthordaphneanmarcia

Thank u sis