just... Stop... You shouldn't be advertising this on other's stories. It isn't even that good_______________________________________________
Allison_Sunday
Liked it!
LIKEok fine. First of all, there are a few typos and missing punctuations. A quick read of the story should be enough to fix most of them. Use a grammar checker if you are lazy, but still check it manually just in case. Second: The story starts with a ton of exposition, and it felt more like the middle of the story than the beginning. World building is a delicate process, and if you blast your shit with a fucking ton of expo, its gonna be boring. Third: There isn't an introduction, or a "normal life" as story writers call it. This is a problem mostly occuring with fanfic writers, where they skip every explanation that exists in the source and only focus on their own AU. Instead, assume that your readers never read/watched the fanfic source, and change parts at your own discretion. Don't turn the mc into an oc character though. Its awful when a fanfic writer writes about harry potter but there isn't magic (you know, like the dumb highschool life fanfics that appear once in a while). Fourth: WTF is voltron a tag you used? I get it, crossovers exist, but thats too big of a gap to make sense. fifth: The story didn't feel like a fanfiction, and more like a unfinished draft of a book. use a software like world anvil or campfire to help out with world building.
Allison_Sunday:are you here to tell me that my story is bad
I see... I'm sorry. I'm a part time writer (writing and making videogame quests for my friend's game) and I take writing really seriously. I was always known to give pretty some pretty harsh criticism when it comes to it. I apologise, as looking back at it, I think my comments were too harsh. I didn't know your daughter had autism, and my comments were uncalled for.
Allison_Sunday:Allison is new to fan fiction. She doesn't know how it works. She's also autistic. I thought, as a mom, she did really well. This is her first story . It's just a story .I think it's fine. Thank you for your input. Goodbye .
A_person_4016:I see... I'm sorry. I'm a part time writer (writing and making videogame quests for my friend's game) and I take writing really seriously. I was always known to give pretty some pretty harsh criticism when it comes to it. I apologise, as looking back at it, I think my comments were too harsh. I didn't know your daughter had autism, and my comments were uncalled for.
Hello I know we haven't been going on the best of terms but Well I guess one you to know that I took your advice.
A_person_4016:hi