Review Detail of bobbarker12 in Dark Wolf- Naruto Fanfic

Needs quite a bit of work in my opinion. Why I believe that to be the case I'll try to point out to you author or reader in the following paragraph in the hopes to help you a little instead of just praising the sun out of the sky or something. Don't take it personal as it isn't meant to be seen as such. Well, on with it: The grammar used in this story is pretty bad which made it uncomfortable and difficult to read at times. That in turn lead to me not really sure what was happening at times (not always). To complement said lack in good grammar is the missing depiction of the world and its atmosphere. If this story were a painting it would miss all colours and consist only of predrawn lines used in its creation so to speak. Then there is the problem of the tenses. Sometimes you are writing in the present tense, sometimes in the future or even mix them completely. Try to stick to one when writing. It makes reading your story much more comfortable. (Of course sometimes you have to switch but that's a given in my opinion.) The last point I would like to point out is the switch in perspectives or scenes. Mark them somehow as it becomes a little confusing to read about one character now and a second later look through the eyes of somebody completely different. I made that mistake as well until someone pointed it out to me. So I thought I may as well just pass along that advice.^^ I know this review may demotivate you but I am of the firm opinion that only critical reviews actually help us writers to advance and improve, That of course doesn't mean encouraging or motivating comments aren't appreciated. Continue writing my dude and I hope you will use this review to further yourself! Good luck and stay healthy :-)