Review Detail of Ooukination in The Uncrowned Heiress

Overall I do like your story. The paragraphs are a little short and many of need some additional information to clarify certain scenes. For example, I did not know she was in a hospital in Chapter 1 until the nurse came in because of how odd the initial description of the room was. It does make her seem like she's in a children's ward too (though her age is far from that).