Review Detail of Sage_HiddenBear in My Vampire System

Seemed interesting. I thought, Hey a story about a sytem that slowly turns tbe mc into a fill blown vampire, neat right? While the idea is certainly cool, and the world backgrojnd at least plausible in the sense that its slightly different from the usual people from regular earth now have powers trope, its...dull. The characters are currently extremely shallow, there is the most strange contrivances and forced behavior. Now trust me I want to enjoy the story but the amount of hand waving required is rather high. Im at the point where its required that I simlly forget about any semblance of logic or reasoning. Heck even just basic plot flow requires me to have immense suspension of disbelief. Tbe idea has great merit. The method the author uses to slowly change the mc into a monsterous creature is neat. The actjal implementation within tbe story and how the mc and surrounding characters react is not neat. Its dull. Keep trying author, I am sure you will make it better and better as you go. Just dont force stuff. You want something to happen, ok, them think about the most logical and realistic way it could happen in the world setting. Dont just force things to occur a la deus ex machina, hand wave miracle juice. Good luck!