The overall premise and plot of this story are promising and certainly have potential. Sadly, the overall grammar and structure of the execution need some more attention. The characters sometimes appeared rather stif, but over time could become good, fleshed out characters as we get to know them better. I beg you, do not let this undermine your enthusiasm. for writing. We all struggle in the beginning. Improvement is possible to achieve with patience, time and practice. I wish you all the best, and hope to see you progress.
Ladyeternalteacher
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