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Review Detail of Insert_Nickname in RE: Harry Potter World: Dark Magic

Review detail

Insert_Nickname
Insert_NicknameLv55yrInsert_Nickname

Honestly? I hate writing bad reviews, and your 'story' admittedly deserves it less than others I've read, but dear lord. First of all, there is an inherent redundancy in the way you set up the wish system. Why give your protagonist instant mastery in terms of magic, and also make him a deity? Is there any point in that? Why does he need to learn how to use poultry mortal spells, when his mother is the God of magic? There are other problems too but honestly I only skimmed through. The grammar runs any semblance of immersion; I find it hard to read a single sentence, and while I may understand its meaning, I'm left with no motivation to decipher the rest of the paragraph. You could use grammarly (the free version) to correct certain issues, but it's better to improve your grammar on your own.

RE: Harry Potter World: Dark Magic

Orionwashere

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Robert_Ivan
Robert_IvanLv1Robert_Ivan

Poultry is chicken; paltry is what you were looking for. Learn how to English.

Insert_Nickname
Insert_NicknameLv5Insert_Nickname

You know I noticed when I hit send, but do note that this was over a year ago and that we can't edit comments. That said, thank you for your correction. I'll be sure to tell my past self to learn English.

Robert_Ivan:Poultry is chicken; paltry is what you were looking for. Learn how to English.