Review Detail of Scarlettbunny in Because it's only you

Alright so there is a story but the lack of detail of all your characters and surroundings makes it seem like a report. You did improve in the last chapter when you finally gave your ML and his assistant some life. Go back re do all your chapters and give that attention to your FL, when she becomes speechless while she meets the ML describe his face. Example. She became stunned. She came face to face to man that was beyond handsome. His face looked to be perfectly chiseled from white marble (or stone), his dark hair was neatly brushed to the side (or back), his neatly trimmed beard (or stubble) perfectly emphasized his sensual lips but what caught her words in her throat were his long eyelashes and blue eyes. Which stared back at her with doubt, mystery and mischievous intelligence. His lips slightly turned upwards in a mocking smile and in an alluring voice he said. (Insert speech) The reason for adjectives and descriptive words is to make your reader feel like they have gone into the world you have pictured in your head. However you do not have to keep re describing your characters, you can do a big one at the beginning and later on emphasize a couple of features every once in a while when you want something to happen between characters. Next you repeat lot of the same things or your grammar is off. Give you chapters a little bit more love, they do not have to be lengthy it is your decision on how long or short your chapter should be. Once you get into writing you'll notice how you've improved and probably not get the real hang of it until 30 chapters in (or sooner depending if you take advice) and even then go back and re read your chapters. There is no crime in doing more editing. Last bit of advice. Don't let negative comments or have people to tell you to stop writing get you down. We all have our preferences and that's okay. Your reason for writing is your own and if you love what your doing then do it. Nothing is worse then killing a story because you lost your confidence in it. If you do want to stop end the story quickly and let your characters live, leaving them in limbo is a sad thing.