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Review Detail of Ihilani in I'm a Vampire God?!

Review detail

Ihilani
IhilaniLv55yrIhilani

I read the first chapter and I think this story has potential, but it has some problems. The paragraphs are large which makes the reading become tiresome and in my opinion for the first chapter the story evolved rather quickly and the rest was simply showing that he could conquer any woman. I will continue to follow, I hope for the next chapters.

altalt

I'm a Vampire God?!

Ellendria

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Ellendria
EllendriaAuthorEllendria

Thanks for the critique. I'll do my best going forward. I'm planning on writing chapter 2 some time today.