Love the conflict, can't wait to read what that raging guy is going to do next. Similar to the first chapter of your book, I sometimes had the feeling of you wanting to explain stuff rather than showing it with actions. Maby that's the style that will make you sucessfull, however, I think it feels kinda strange sometimes. Also, I think in the beginning there is a "long" time of storytelling without a mayor conflict - maby no problem for people that read a lot, for generation instagram with an attention span of a few seconds I think it could be a reason to stop reading before even coming to the interesting parts, though. But, definetly keep on writing these nice sayings or whatever you want to call them, like the black hole in the stomach or that thing with the rule of gravity, these little things make the not - so - exciting parts fun to read. Waiting for the next chapter... (:
FaebyenTheFairy
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