I like the way it’s starting and I think that if you could add a few more chapeters and more depth it could be a good read. I like the moment he stutters when the big man asks if he is Adam but you might want to tone down on how much he stutters. Also in the end when the system or Neowalt tells him that it’s his life you could add a little more in there to help the flow of time that I feel is missing.
ImmortalLakeSpirit
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