Review Detail of Take_the_Moon in Convincing her (Jen and Lucas)
Review detail
Positive Points: Sex! Good description of the *** scenes, the couple's chemistry is very good. Very good male character (so far) and the female character is very liberal. Negative Points: Author you forget what you write from one chapter to another, for example, the damn bags she had to pack, they were forgotten; There is a redundancy in her description, the personality of the girl I find very fickle, she seems like a person who prefers to be alone, but from one hour to another ends up going to a party with strangers; It does not make a person to meet some other people one day and on the same day they want to "break into" their house to go to a party. I'll be following the story, maybe I'll do another review.
Convincing her (Jen and Lucas)
PinkCotton
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The party took place during the weekend after they met at the beginning of the week. So she did hang out with them even though not for many days, but she got to know them during the week. I should have probably written something to indicate this but there weren't any major plot points during that period. Thanks for pointing it out though, i'll have to fix it. Thanks for the review :)
PinkCotton:The party took place during the weekend after they met at the beginning of the week. So she did hang out with them even though not for many days, but she got to know them during the week. I should have probably written something to indicate this but there weren't any major plot points during that period. Thanks for pointing it out though, i'll have to fix it. Thanks for the review :)