Review Detail of Beastlyyy in Tales of Demons and Gods: Story of Red Moon Immortal (Hong Yue Xian)
Review detail
You have several problems with your novel in my POV. - No details, no worldbuilding, i remember that you started CHAP 9 i think to add some details but everying after that feel rushed, -Wish-fulfilment , i honestly have no problem with it if it doesnt prove to be a problem, here it is a problem, a big one, you focus tooo much on your fantasies that it becomes unberable. -The harem, dont get me wrong i like harems like every man out there, but you focus too much on it , instead of focusing 1 girl at the time, explore all the ideas of romance with her, build character or whatever, you just jump into wagon with 4-5 or whatever ( i stopped reading at 4th girl) and thats it, no character building, no nothing. Smut scenes may discorogues some readers but i dont really have a problem with them if they are necessary or to add some spice to your story, Here it fells that youre writing a story FOR smut scenes not creating a story WITH smut scenes.~ - Sorry english is my 2n language and im very tired. Best of luck and dont stop writing, only then you can improve.
Tales of Demons and Gods: Story of Red Moon Immortal (Hong Yue Xian)
WritingDreams
Liked by 3 people
LIKEReplies2
Thanks for your opinion. I do realise that my world building and character building is bad. Honestly, I skipped a lot of dialogue and descriptions and other content, cause I wanted to move with the story. I said it somewhere in the comments that I might come back after I finished and expand the chapters I wrote to make it richer. More building. For now since it is my first one, I write what I can. I feel more comfortable with dialogues now, I am sure you can tell the change as you read the novel. The h scenes that you mentioned, I can only say that it was a short amount of time in which the mc had to get them if he ever wanted to get them, so it turned out to be that way. I actually story wise thought of adding Sikong Hongyue and make a scene with her, but changed my mind to keep it for later. I promise, I was not focused nor will focus on them. It might look too much but they are part of the story. I hope to improve and do a better job in the Volume 3 even if a little. Thank you for reading and for the review.
Huh, you take criticism a lot better than other authores here on site. Good luck, and if its not the main focus on harem i think i will continue reading, Cya and have a good day.
WritingDreams:Thanks for your opinion. I do realise that my world building and character building is bad. Honestly, I skipped a lot of dialogue and descriptions and other content, cause I wanted to move with the story. I said it somewhere in the comments that I might come back after I finished and expand the chapters I wrote to make it richer. More building. For now since it is my first one, I write what I can. I feel more comfortable with dialogues now, I am sure you can tell the change as you read the novel. The h scenes that you mentioned, I can only say that it was a short amount of time in which the mc had to get them if he ever wanted to get them, so it turned out to be that way. I actually story wise thought of adding Sikong Hongyue and make a scene with her, but changed my mind to keep it for later. I promise, I was not focused nor will focus on them. It might look too much but they are part of the story. I hope to improve and do a better job in the Volume 3 even if a little. Thank you for reading and for the review.