Review Detail of XOMatsumaeohana in Love, Tale

Review Swap Valid as of Chapter 33 Writing Quality: Suggested word changes • Chapter 1- "She was so sick and tired of being sick and tired" (no need to repeat sick and tired) --> change --> " Tale was so fed up with constantly being sick and tired." "She wanted adventure, she dreamed of it --> "Tale wanted adventure and constantly dreamed of it." "Since he had addressed her"--> "Since he addressed her" The word "I" should be capitalized. Comas and full stops missing. I suggest using a writing program like grammarly to fix up your punction. Over usage of he and she - just write the character names if you noticed you wrote she or he more than 3 times in a paragraph. Chapter 11- 🤔 what's with the (1) (2) (3) (4)? In chapter 12, there's a lot of just speaking dialogue. You should clarify who said these things. Chapter 25- It's just chicken - description of the chicken? • Description is important, I know it can be difficult but if you just have the characters talking and not describe their surroundings. The readers will be confused. Story Development: 🤔 A bit fast paced. The main characters introduction to each other is interesting, no lag between the second meeting. Or rather the first meeting, is it wise to invite over someone you just met to your own home? Su Yan falls for her so quickly. That's fine and all, but it feels like they barely know each other. You could have written more scenes where they spent time together (maybe even a short time skip). The romance progresses very well afterwards - slowly Tale's past is revealed. The same goes for Su Yan. Character Design: As of Chapter 33, I'm starting to form a proper picture of the characters now. Tale a mischievous girl - but just like any other girl her age she wishes to experience love. But in the process of searching for love, she ends up getting hurt. Su Yan, a cheerful man with a somewhat dark past 🤔 World Background: The opening is very well written, I like how fast the pace is. We get to the key point in the story, and some background information. Could still use some work but I can form a clear picture of the character named 'Su Yan'. Actually I'm surprised we don't learn more about the FL Tale in the opening 🤔 Overall: There's a lot more I want to say. But this review is already top long. For spelling and grammar help, you should use grammarly. Keep it up 😊