Review Detail of Jspindlewood in Re: Sword Emperor(old)

You read until chapter 7, I don't understand how you could make the judgment that there is no reason for the MC to play the game. Should the MC conveniently think to himself 'Kevin! I swear in this life I will beat you!', or something like that to make the stakes higher? It seems a little bit disingenuous to me for you to make this kind of statement when you have only read until the character creation part.

Characters should always have a reason for doing the thing that they are going to spent the majority of the novel doing. For example, in Hunger Games, Katness hunts because if she didn't she and her family will starve. That's made clear in the first chapter. If by the 7th Chapter we still don't know why Katness hunts and she's already volunteered as tribute, then her hunting skills is just an ass pull.

Okay, if you're a lawyer and you spent your whole life as a lawyer, what will you work as when you come back in time ten years prior?

I'll put all my money in the stock market because I know the general market trends. I'll pattern scum a bunch of things that gets invented and make millions. Fuck law school, that's just a money sink.

The fact that he didn't even consider his options makes him a compulsive game addict. Not very interesting without real world consequences.

He did consider?

Half of the second chapter was about what he will do in this new life. Plus, he was playing since he was 3 years old. It's not just him being a lawyer, it's him looking up to a lawyers because one of them saved his dad from prison.

Doesn't change the fact he is a compulsive gaming addict that does everything in the novel because he is an addict. Change gaming to "Crack" and ask yourself if that's a story that the majority of people on this site will want to read.

Then change lawyer to crack, soldier to crack, doctor to crack, hero to crack. If someone having a passion for something disturbs you this much, then I really can't say or do much.

A lawyer is not nessisary addicted to being a lawyer. A soldier isn't nessisary a battlefield addict. But your MC is an addict and you don't seem to realize it.

And you made getting his next fix the only reason for this story's existence.

It's one of the reasons, the other is that most of his relationships are in the virtual world. Now, I could have just said "He wanted to find his friends, his family, but for that he needed to play the game" or something of the sort. But this is just cheesy. It was implied and it is even more so when he finds his first friend from the future in game.

But this came after chapter 7 and it's only going to be more obvious as time goes on. There is some stuff that you can't just tell the reader at the start of the story and be done with it, you need to show it through the actions of the MC, and that **** takes time.

Nonetheless, despite this being author intent, the interpretation of most people is that the MC is a drug addict needing his next fix. You should have made his motivation obvious sooner.

Okay ill take this view into consideration once I start the full edit of arc 1.