Review Detail of KojiSan in Guild Wars

Theres many things that i want to say about the few chapters (30 ish) that i finished reading before checking the reviews. First of all at the first 10 - 20 chapters i saw a really heavy chinese writing style, i don't know if it was just me who saw it, but past 20 it reduced a lot. Nothing really wrong with chinese novels but they often fall for the same traps over and over again, it start with 1 dimentional characters, then moves to power based progression only, then it ends with every side character existing just to make the mc look good or to be an exposition dump, good that you moved away because the moment i saw the randoms on the background saying stuff just because the mc went on the alleyway i was like... "no god please no...." You escaped from that really well but theres things that no VR novel can escape simply because its tied to the genre, most writers of this genre will have to decide which road to take, to keep the game as a game.. or to make the game have massive influence in reality, RSSG, thief who roam the world, shura's wrath went on the second option, but because it was poorly made it falls flat, i think the genre of urban fantasy like Solo Leveling came to existance because those writers couldn't figure out a better way to perfectly match the seriousness of irl consequences + vr fantasy games, so thats one of the things that im kinda worried about down the road. You already made a game that is not really optimal (not being able to change appearance, being able to be raped and tortured) i think no government in the world would accept that kind of game being the future of society because of the "extreme freedom". Creating a character is the key to any rpg so taking it away kinda removes the RP of RPG, i know why you made those choices, you want to make it a second reality and you want to show the darker side of society, but i belive you could've done that with the irl storyline, that arena mini arc was hella dark with the rape and all but it felt believeble, on the contrary the torture in game felt off because its just a game, would be darker if the mc found the residence of that one guy later on and paid him a "nice visit" than have the torture scene there.. would still show the dark side of society but would not break the game itself. I myself am a game designer and i have done fair share of quest writings and adventures for tabletop rpg, so a tip when you are developing a game system to your novel is first ask yourself "would i play this game if i wasn't the protagonist?" Then you move to "would i allow my sister play it? What about my wife? And what about my daughter?" If the answer is "No" then the game world that you created is to extreme and need to be toned down a bit, that in our world wouldn't matter because we have target demographics, but your game is the one to became THE ONE GAME that will bakrupt all others so you need to pay attention to those details. Now to the grand part, the resolution between the mc ans fmc, one word.. underwhelming, not because the idea was bad or because "NTR" but because it didn't feel natural. It could be even more extreme and the whole ntr part could've have actually happened but if handled well it would improve the story by a lot. Let me try to give an exemple that i have in mind. Sinse chapter one the fmc is still introduced with hatred, and she display a slight interest on the mc.. then she gets some PoV showing that she doesn't understand why she feels that way and as the story progresses through the chapters she gets more and more pov showing that for some weird reason she can't even focus on leveling anymore because this damn mc is always in her head so that drives her to pursue him, but she also falls behind in levels because of that. for a pro gamer falling behind is really bad so us as readers would be curious about it... and instead of full hatred we would also be curious about her and waiting for their meeting to understand whats going on. Later we find that she indeed NTRed the mc and did it to save his life and all of that, but instead of accepting and forgiving the mc breathes heavily and tell her to never look at him again, his vengeance was indeed completed but he did live through hell for 8 years, she panics because she is all yandere about him but he turns around and leave, he shows maturity and a moral high ground while she has to pay for her choices.. now we have a long redemption subplot as the story goes to redeem her, remmember she needs to be redeemed not only to the mc, but to the readers as well so she suffers and cry until the readers feeling bad for her and then you conclude it in a natural way like him almost dying and she jumping in to sacrifice herself for him and bam... she has been redeemed I know that you probably wanted to get it done to focus on the story but you cannot rush romance, the levels the plot, the enemies can all be rushed but you can never rush human emotions because even being the writer you don't have that power, this is why romance in xianxia always sucks, all rushed.. take your time with it, when i write stories i always treat the characters as living creatures, i can give them a basic direction but i never force their choice, they have their own personalities and goals, so if i can't reach a certain plot point because the mc wouldn't pick that choice i can only accept it and adapt, but never break the character for convenience. I had a lot more to say but honestry typing on an iphone while on a train is not that easy lol, and i think is already a long text as it is, i will try to keep reading, although a few things were done poorly many things were done very well, by no means is a mediocre novel!