Review Detail of YoungestKing in Guild Wars
Review detail
I feel this is a great novel, but from what ive read the biggest point of dissatisfaction(for myself included) is the portrayal of the relationship of the MC and the Female lead. The twist in their relationship comes off very sudden and unlikable. I think this is mostly because we spend the entire story up until this point not liking and being aggrivated by her. I think that if the reason behind her betrayal was something the MC agonized over more and maybe asked of her yet recieved an answer that set up room for a future relationship but didnt fully answer the question we would see her in a different light. This is more effective than the silent martyr style she used because we never liked her in the first place. The way I view what was written is that she was a cheating scumbag that was rightfully hurt by the MC, maybe tried to kill him, as well as a lucky piece of crap that benefited from his reincarnation. Then it turns out to be a red herring and she was actually trying to protect him. Maybe if she tried to reach out to him in the past life but he constantly denied her or if she told him she felt like she deserved to be punished but doesnt regret what she did. If the relationship wasnt shown as such an open and shut case of revenge I think it would have flown better.
Guild Wars
Kotario
Liked by 16 people
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probably should go back to it at some point in the future because it's seriously a major cutoff point (although i did get with what you were trying to get across). I agree with most of the points above, and he explains it better than i could've, that it was not that obvious especially the first scene where he thinks she is smirking that did not give the right vibes i get it was in his head but... Although i think you should keep going for now i think in the future where you have completed a large quantity of chapters idk 500+ and have a much clearer grasp of the characters and there intricacies you should rewrite some of them first 30 chapters not all as most of the content is good, just the interactions, cues and scenes with the FMC. (Sorry this comment is a mess)
Kotario:Yes, I've realized this a tad too late. I even rewrote those chapters a bit to flow better, but it was a limited effort. The best I can do now is work harder and much better going forward.
WHAT_NO_MONEY:probably should go back to it at some point in the future because it's seriously a major cutoff point (although i did get with what you were trying to get across). I agree with most of the points above, and he explains it better than i could've, that it was not that obvious especially the first scene where he thinks she is smirking that did not give the right vibes i get it was in his head but... Although i think you should keep going for now i think in the future where you have completed a large quantity of chapters idk 500+ and have a much clearer grasp of the characters and there intricacies you should rewrite some of them first 30 chapters not all as most of the content is good, just the interactions, cues and scenes with the FMC. (Sorry this comment is a mess)
WHAT_NO_MONEY:probably should go back to it at some point in the future because it's seriously a major cutoff point (although i did get with what you were trying to get across). I agree with most of the points above, and he explains it better than i could've, that it was not that obvious especially the first scene where he thinks she is smirking that did not give the right vibes i get it was in his head but... Although i think you should keep going for now i think in the future where you have completed a large quantity of chapters idk 500+ and have a much clearer grasp of the characters and there intricacies you should rewrite some of them first 30 chapters not all as most of the content is good, just the interactions, cues and scenes with the FMC. (Sorry this comment is a mess)