Review Detail of Chryiss in My Life belongs to you

I have to be very honest. The writing is understandable, but it lacks in execution. It doesn’t nearly have enough visual language to get a sense of the settings or characters. Capitalization, punctuation, and paragraphing are real issues. The events happen quickly without detail, and the events that do happen don’t add to the plot of man and woman falls in love and encounters troubles. Do we really need to know how she makes supper and goes to sleep? Don’t lost every day actions. Skip what isn’t necessary to move the relationship forward, and elaborate on the couple’s experiences, thoughts, and emotions. I think you’ll get there as you have a sound idea, but this story will take some work to get to that fully engaging and compelling story. Keep it up!