Review Detail of retired in Can I love?

It’s interesting! There’s a lot of potential. The way characters talk is confusing, so try using speech marks instead of dashes. I’d suggest working on fleshing out your world and characters a bit more, as well as to generally read around to understand some more complex writing techniques and structures. Not everything has to be foreshadowed or squished in at the end of a chapter! Good luck, I hope to see this update sometime eventually!