Review Detail of Jojo775 in Unlimited Fantasy
Review detail
This is a light hearthed fic about generic system transmigration. What makes it special is that it's actually about AN vs EN(author notes vs editor notes), it's funny and the only thing that makes this worth reading if you're looking to give your mind a break. Some chunni's will not like these frequent notes which they think interrupt the story, their immersion, well who cares about the half assed plot and 0 character design and interaction, or chunni's opinion for that matter.
Unlimited Fantasy
Chenglei
Liked by 1 people
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I'm not that good at explaining, you just have ways and ways to go into improving your writting. When your MC meets new characters, their conversation is short and doesn't really serve any purpose other than saying hello, then you move to the next characters and do the same thing. I said it's a half assed plot, because you just made the MC OP and that's it, he's only butting into canon when it would all be fine without him, he doesn't have a direction or a purpose. You say he's attached to his family but I don't see it, he's perfectly fine with being 8 years away, and he will be away for even more, then when he comes back they won't even know he was gone before he goes to another world for who knows how many years. Normal people in that case would grow distant from their family. Basically you're missing out on character interactions and their emotions, making them 2 dimensional. There is no easy way to fix this, that would be like someone who has a D in math needed to get a B or A, it takes time, in your case years if you take it seriously, if not then never.
Chenglei:What do you mean 0 Character Design? Half-Assed Plot? Could You Give me Good Examples of these 2 Then?
Jojo775:I'm not that good at explaining, you just have ways and ways to go into improving your writting. When your MC meets new characters, their conversation is short and doesn't really serve any purpose other than saying hello, then you move to the next characters and do the same thing. I said it's a half assed plot, because you just made the MC OP and that's it, he's only butting into canon when it would all be fine without him, he doesn't have a direction or a purpose. You say he's attached to his family but I don't see it, he's perfectly fine with being 8 years away, and he will be away for even more, then when he comes back they won't even know he was gone before he goes to another world for who knows how many years. Normal people in that case would grow distant from their family. Basically you're missing out on character interactions and their emotions, making them 2 dimensional. There is no easy way to fix this, that would be like someone who has a D in math needed to get a B or A, it takes time, in your case years if you take it seriously, if not then never.
NP :) you could try reading a writters guide, I think I saw something about that on Novel Updates, or just google it.
Chenglei:~ Thank you! With this I can actually try Improving! đ
