Review Detail of Scarlettbunny in Strangers From Another World

I only read to the end of chapter 4, mainly because it's not my cup of tea but from what I read so far.... Your grammar and spelling is fine, but you use the wrong words in your sentences. One chapter has the word "bear" unfortunately that is an animal and the way your sentence is written it should have been "bare" as in naked. There was also a lack of expressive words. Chapter 3 is a perfect example of it. Lady Oracle "she said grimly with gravity." Then the gravity is gone. 😐😐😐 There are lot more expressive words you can insert. Easiest way is using a thesaurus pick a simple word and then see which one will make the flow sound better and picture easier. Picturing your words was hard to do. You almost never explained what your characters look like and when you do it's the bare minimum. There is also the over abundance of information from the beginning, everything is explained in the beginning there is no sense of mystery other then half the child populace disappearing. The good stuff now.... The battle scenes are good, if you could expand them a bit more they would be freaking fantastic. As for the story it's unique, you don't just have one MC you have various that have each have their own stories. Eugene was at the beginning make you wonder when he got there and the parents know what is going on so did they travel and return? You have written quite a bit so I suggest to go back and review your past chapters. Honestly after 10,000 words you finally get the feel of how you want to write.