Review Detail of Bahri in THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE
Review detail
Awesome story and i'm really looking forward to how it developes. Just a few things that i think would make it a better experience if fixed. 1- there are too many question marks in places they shouldnt be. A character would be making a statement and then there would be a question mark at the end, which isnt a big issue but can be irritating at times. 2- there are too many fully capatilised words or sentences. I know that its for emphasising a point but its a little much. Also all the "everyone shouted "WHHAATTT" " gets old. It just doesnt make sense and makes me feel like im watching a cartoon. 2- generally the spelling isnt that bad but there are a few words that are mispelled regularly for example the word "read" is always spelled as "red". Its ok if its once or twice but this has been the same since the start of the novel untill the current chapter im up to (100s). For spelling and grammar there are many free programs like grammarly that can help you. Anyway sorry if it seemed like a rant but im just trying to help you out and make the novel a better experience. Great job on the story and best of luck
THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE
VKSS1602
Liked by 1 people
LIKEReplies3
Also one more thing i think you should improve the backstory on Eric the king of the world dude. It just doesnt make sense how he became the "king of the world" just because many people had a war over him. Sure he is pretty darn important but the word "king" means ruling over others and managing them.
Thank you for your reply... first of all, i know that my grammar is not top notch.. so I'm looking for an editor... Secondly... most of the time I write a chapter through smart phone... so there will come a time where spellings would be auto corrected by the system... most of the i correct it. But sometimes I couldn't see the mistakes... Thirdly... you said that Eric Dawson's creations which led him to become the king of the life realm inconvienceable... I can understand... but you are still not up to the date with the current chapter... in the current chapter there is happening a huge war between two empires where the opposite empire has somehow managed to get a willpower user and using the weapons forged through the inner will. those weapons are so powerful that it is even penetrating the powerful shields made using the magic power.. later it is confirmed that those weapons are on par with the creations of Eric Dawson... The man who created the weapons with such quality and people killed each other only to get him. This reason made people recognize him as the ultimate king of the world... because he is an unparalled genius finally... I'm not offended with your honest reply... because I'm just a college student... this is my first novel... so I'm writing while learning... the honest opinions like yours will give me the platform to improve myself... so I'm really happy for your post. I know this story should be in top 10 in power ranking.. but because of my poor narration quality.. it is barely making in top 300... but i don't blame anyone but myself for being poor in the business... so don't worry I'll look for an editor thank you