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Review Detail of Fleeting_Cloud in The Idle System

Review detail

Fleeting_Cloud
Fleeting_CloudLv115yrFleeting_Cloud

Seems to be a beginner author, probably writing his first novel. While I want to encourage him to persevere, the novel in it's current state is riddled with issues. There are many issues, but I'll focus on what seems to me the main one : The main character feels like a awkward puppet who acts very strangely and only thinks what comes to the author's mind. To give a few examples : he wakes up naked, and he only notices it hours later, after someone tells him. Or he's covered in blood, and doesn't get uncomfortable, and once again, only after someone reacts, will he wash himself. Later, his clothing gets reduced to rags over a long period of time, but he only notices when someone points it out. He earns a lot of money after a LOT of work and time, but he spends it all in a frivolous manner in a few hours, on the first thing that catches his mind (and is totally non-essential). Overall, he gives a feeling of being seriously autistic and mentally disturbed, for instance he accidentally causes someone's death and has a hard time to keep himself from bursting out laughing while he covers it up like it's some kind of gag.

altalt

The Idle System

Pegaz

Liked by 22 people

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Replies20

Pegaz
PegazAuthorPegaz

But look at the situations he was in, he first arrived and was scared ****less, then got attacked, ran for his life after surviving the attack, starving and bats could be anywhere, would u care about clothes at that point? Covered in blood, but was in that much pain because of his bones being reset into position, pissed off and just wanting to complete the quest and get out of there, would you care about blood on you? He spent all the money on the clothes that will mend itself and clean itself so he doesn't have to keep changing and washing clothes, and the idle system is making his body stronger, if he uses a weapon he doesn't get anything, it's only if he uses his skills does he get something for killing them. And yes while he caused someones death, he panics and did all that to get out of it, the smile is not because of his death but because he got away with it, even if it was only an accident, he knows the punishment for murder. You would smile too.

Semorsi
SemorsiLv11Semorsi

I think it’s more an issue that you neglected to make him have any severe reaction in his first kills, animal/human, puking, paling etc. it unfortunately makes him seem less human.

VoidListener
VoidListenerLv3VoidListener

Get out of here mushkin

skylarias
skylariasLv4skylarias

Right? When you're uses to wearing clothes all the time, and then suddenly are butt naked, feeling the wind on your privates, you notice. Not to mention, he didn't look down once during all his walking? It's not about not caring about ckihtes. Unless he's blind and his nerves in his skin stopped working, he would have noticed. Also, when he was covered in blood. When blood dries on your skin, it's very noticeable.

skylarias
skylariasLv4skylarias

Furthmore, most humans feel guilty if they kill someone accidentally. They don't start giggling and smiling because they got away with murder. Only if you're a cold hearted sociopath, do you not feel any guilt. Yet this guy still claims to have a moral code. What moral code?

skylarias:Right? When you're uses to wearing clothes all the time, and then suddenly are butt naked, feeling the wind on your privates, you notice. Not to mention, he didn't look down once during all his walking? It's not about not caring about ckihtes. Unless he's blind and his nerves in his skin stopped working, he would have noticed. Also, when he was covered in blood. When blood dries on your skin, it's very noticeable.
UnfetteredMind
UnfetteredMindLv5UnfetteredMind

Lmao this answer confirmed my guess. Its not the MC being dumbed down for the sake of comedy. He actually reflects the authors intelect. I dont know what to say

Helvetica_Standard
Helvetica_StandardLv5Helvetica_Standard

hahaha.. agreed .. this novel synopsis interest me and I decided to read the reviews first .. when I read this Fleeting_Cloud review, I thought maybe he was biased or just don't like this novel.. but the moment I read the author comment, it was clear to me what happened!. also agreed to skylarias comment.. maybe I still picked this novel to read someday for it was in top 3 original ranking, so it maybe had some epic plot.. someday

UnfetteredMind:Lmao this answer confirmed my guess. Its not the MC being dumbed down for the sake of comedy. He actually reflects the authors intelect. I dont know what to say
sunbyul
sunbyulLv5sunbyul

And don't forget jiggling balls.

skylarias:Right? When you're uses to wearing clothes all the time, and then suddenly are butt naked, feeling the wind on your privates, you notice. Not to mention, he didn't look down once during all his walking? It's not about not caring about ckihtes. Unless he's blind and his nerves in his skin stopped working, he would have noticed. Also, when he was covered in blood. When blood dries on your skin, it's very noticeable.
GraveWalker
GraveWalkerLv4GraveWalker

plus to many time skips

kira7310
kira7310Lv11kira7310

He caused the death of 200 persons before dying, he is just numb to it

Semorsi:I think it’s more an issue that you neglected to make him have any severe reaction in his first kills, animal/human, puking, paling etc. it unfortunately makes him seem less human.
kira7310
kira7310Lv11kira7310

I enjoy it ;-) I kinda understand the author too, with the background of the main character it doesn’t feel unnatural

Helvetica_Standard:hahaha.. agreed .. this novel synopsis interest me and I decided to read the reviews first .. when I read this Fleeting_Cloud review, I thought maybe he was biased or just don't like this novel.. but the moment I read the author comment, it was clear to me what happened!. also agreed to skylarias comment.. maybe I still picked this novel to read someday for it was in top 3 original ranking, so it maybe had some epic plot.. someday
Pegaz
PegazAuthorPegaz

And his old body was used to wearing cloths, but he just got reincarnated and was in a new body on a new world. Then all that happened so cloths were the last thing on his mind.

skylarias:Right? When you're uses to wearing clothes all the time, and then suddenly are butt naked, feeling the wind on your privates, you notice. Not to mention, he didn't look down once during all his walking? It's not about not caring about ckihtes. Unless he's blind and his nerves in his skin stopped working, he would have noticed. Also, when he was covered in blood. When blood dries on your skin, it's very noticeable.
Misguided_Rooster
Misguided_RoosterLv5Misguided_Rooster

Haven't read the novel(Don't plan to, no offense. Has nothing to do wit novel) but if these things aren't explained properly then this happens..

Pegaz:And his old body was used to wearing cloths, but he just got reincarnated and was in a new body on a new world. Then all that happened so cloths were the last thing on his mind.
ABSenior
ABSeniorLv4ABSenior

Guys , novel are for fun and full of fantasy don't mix reality always with it . Or you would not be able to enjoy properly . Just think as fun and enjoy .

Notorious_Banana
Notorious_BananaLv11Notorious_Banana

Thats why theres good and terrible novels. :d

ABSenior:Guys , novel are for fun and full of fantasy don't mix reality always with it . Or you would not be able to enjoy properly . Just think as fun and enjoy .
ABSenior
ABSeniorLv4ABSenior

Ya to some extent you are correct N B

vaiincarar
vaiincararLv5vaiincarar

Author, please go on Sasuke's rise and see so many people asking you to continue to novel.

ABSenior:Ya to some extent you are correct N B
KoFu_
KoFu_Lv6KoFu_

You can enjoy a novel and have common sense and logic at the same time! Crazy thing no?

ABSenior:Guys , novel are for fun and full of fantasy don't mix reality always with it . Or you would not be able to enjoy properly . Just think as fun and enjoy .
ThirdLegSwordsWuMN
ThirdLegSwordsWuMNLv4ThirdLegSwordsWuMN

damn... well i won't read it if the mc is mentaly retarded AND rewarded for doing nothing. wtf ?

ShadowedRuins
ShadowedRuinsLv3ShadowedRuins

Spoiler but I just have to say it. The MC is an idiot for a reason, it explains further ito the novel. His mind stat is his mental prowess, he literally CAN’T think, until he gets it up.