Review Detail of theonionjunktion in Conclave of Tyrants
Review detail
Hey guys author here. I love martial arts fantasy a war fantasy, but i thought about bringing something new to the mix. Hope u enjoy my work. Criticism and comments are always welcome. I have other works online such as Titan's Throne and Solitary Sword Sovereign each with millions of views so check em out :)
Conclave of Tyrants
theonionjunktion
Liked by 23 people
LIKEReplies21
Hello the onion, your novel is one of the most interesting novels I've read so far. There are several things I like and dislike about this novel and I will list them down: Like: Overpowered MC Wide variety of cultures introduced (Seriously. Finally) Not ***** MC How you introduce the setting in ways that make sense. Dislike: Constant hopping between viewpoints - This destroys the momentum that you have been building up of the character's story. Too many characters too early in the story - You whacked me in the face with plenty of characters whose names I may not need to remember or care about at the present moment. If you introduce the sadistic princess character, I expect her to cross paths with the MC within 10 chapters. Remember Cherkov's Gun. I understand how you feel coming up with all these cool characters and wanting to introduce them ASAP, but to us, who are used to being bombarded with side characters, introducing these characters now will just make us forget them when they are suppose to be relevant. Use of presumably African names to describe non-important things - Using "convoluted name" to describe a liver, heart, lungs, etc. Majority of the people here do not understand what those names are, find them hard to remember and using them in place of their English counterparts brings nothing to the story. Only use them if there is no English equivalent. Eg, Yin and Yang. These terms can be translated as light and dark, but there is so much connotation to them that it makes more sense to keep them in Mandarin. I understand you are trying to incorporate African culture into the story, but such things are better shown in societal structures and traditions. These are all the problems that I have found so far and I hope my criticism helps. I know that 90% of the stuff I wrote here is negative, but I sincerely hope that you can keep on writing your interesting story till its completion. Possible things to consider: Differing standards of beauty - not all cultures view beauty similarly. Eg, Indians in the past believed bigger was better as they thought such women would give them many children. But look at Asian standards now. How to show that the characters are speaking in different languages How to bridge the gap of each empire using different cultivation terms - I foresee this will confuse the heck out of people and when people get confused, the immersion breaks.
Frostfire10:Hello the onion, your novel is one of the most interesting novels I've read so far. There are several things I like and dislike about this novel and I will list them down: Like: Overpowered MC Wide variety of cultures introduced (Seriously. Finally) Not ***** MC How you introduce the setting in ways that make sense. Dislike: Constant hopping between viewpoints - This destroys the momentum that you have been building up of the character's story. Too many characters too early in the story - You whacked me in the face with plenty of characters whose names I may not need to remember or care about at the present moment. If you introduce the sadistic princess character, I expect her to cross paths with the MC within 10 chapters. Remember Cherkov's Gun. I understand how you feel coming up with all these cool characters and wanting to introduce them ASAP, but to us, who are used to being bombarded with side characters, introducing these characters now will just make us forget them when they are suppose to be relevant. Use of presumably African names to describe non-important things - Using "convoluted name" to describe a liver, heart, lungs, etc. Majority of the people here do not understand what those names are, find them hard to remember and using them in place of their English counterparts brings nothing to the story. Only use them if there is no English equivalent. Eg, Yin and Yang. These terms can be translated as light and dark, but there is so much connotation to them that it makes more sense to keep them in Mandarin. I understand you are trying to incorporate African culture into the story, but such things are better shown in societal structures and traditions. These are all the problems that I have found so far and I hope my criticism helps. I know that 90% of the stuff I wrote here is negative, but I sincerely hope that you can keep on writing your interesting story till its completion. Possible things to consider: Differing standards of beauty - not all cultures view beauty similarly. Eg, Indians in the past believed bigger was better as they thought such women would give them many children. But look at Asian standards now. How to show that the characters are speaking in different languages How to bridge the gap of each empire using different cultivation terms - I foresee this will confuse the heck out of people and when people get confused, the immersion breaks.
verityinvision:Tags? Is this harem? I'm looking for non harem?
OK whew because I got to where he was rethinking his lust for maka and was coming to the conclusion that he wasn't going to do romance so I dropped it till you replied but thank I'll pick it back up it's really good
theonionjunktion:Yes there is definitely
