He had 10 min to counter without being red tagged. In most games attacking a red tagged player will not make you red tagged since you are doing “justice”. Red tag probably lasts an hour or more. Depends on the game but it’s a warning system to other players not just the first you went after. I’m sure the previous chapter said how long but who really reads these word for word right? Necro post for the win!

annnd done... the grammar is very rough. I apologize for all the corrections but at 1am when i usually sleep at 10pm it seemed like a good idea. You have a decent starting premise so just roll with the hits and move on. Good luck!

is -> was

theres... there's stuff here... "he shouted at him as he TOOK out his dagger and desperately tried to attack Elton, even as his strength was rapidly decreasing. He managed to grab Elton but, just as he was going to stab him, Elton managed to avoid the attack and take his dagger to stab him instead. " This kind of sentence is always rough. It's why most translators will just constantly put the MC's name everywhere in the sentence.

was --> is; in this flashback he is being affected by the poison in the "present"

would -> would have: fall into -> fall to

Spitting out blood with each of his roars, he surprised himself as he managed to stand up, as he felt his strength decreasing for some unknown reason.

He grabbed a hold of his chest, and felt his breathing become heavy, as he stumbled...

another case of third person talking, so past tense here. "... and he didn't have any idea..."

He shook his head, to clear his mind, as he walked around. However, he felt like he was going in circles, there was no end to the pitch-black place. Not sure if i got this one 100% correct but meh.

Well, actually, he did swing both ways, but he never had a serious relationship to begin with. He was thoroughly taken by his job as an assassin.

makes -> made. just due to talking as a third person you have to use the past tense for most everything. harbors -> harbored is-> was comma after him

"... Elton, his personal broker, would betray him. He would be prepared no matter what if that day comes."

ehhh "would have" is ok here... kinda unnecessary. change should -> would and you're good here

Alright now its entering weird territory. If this is an inner monologue then "he doesn't" is incorrect and should be "i don't" if its a third party telling the story "He didn't" is the correct term. You seem to swap back and forth, this can cause a huge increase in writing difficulty so i recommend sticking to one. Lets go third person for now? "he didn't remember how he met said broker... and he wasn't the type of person to remember something like that."

doesn't -> didn't. It is heavily implied the MC is dead and going to another world based on the title. That broker should have no way to be used in the present context.

As an independent assassin, one who doesn't belong to any organization, he had a personal broker. His broker handled all of his transactions and directed the clientele to him.

I'm not sure what the goal here was... is it a continuation from the previous paragraph? There's a few ways this line could be taken, lets assume he wants to forget his past. "As much as I want to forget, I can't help but be reminded how weak i was. But, i am not the same person anymore." I should note, i'm not trying to be rude, i'm just too tired to pass on this stuff and felt like giving out some corrections and thoughts

At a very young age, he knew that if he didn't do anything then he won't be able to survive in this world and, he knew that he couldn't fully trust anyone other than himself.

Ever since he was a child, he's been an orphan, he strived to live and survive in this cruel world, without the help of anyone around him.