milkyshe
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milkyshe4mthPostedHi, for a starter chapter, I'd say you did pretty well^^ I love the flow of the plot and where it's going. You captured the mood of the events unfolding effortlessly. I as a reader knew what you wanted to convey. However, for my unsolicited advice, it would've been nice if you added a little bit of "detail" before or while they did the 'thing'. Or as they say, the context. Just a bit, like you sprinkle them here and there just to let the reader be on their tippy toes and have something to spark their interest. Hence, it will make them look forward to. Then of course, grammatically-wise I say you did pretty well too. Based on your writing, I believe that you still need to improve your grammar. After writing, you might want to reread over and over again. But you have to rest of course just to freshen your perspective then proofread after, it really help when spotting a few mistakes here and there. And that's completely fine. Overall, I'd say it's pretty good, very nice and super amazing^^ for a first chapter. I love your writing style. Its's distinct but it's there.
- milkyshe4mthCommented
😭😭😭😭😭
Three shots were released into Ivan's head, rupturing the back of his skull. His lifeless body slumped on the bloodied floor close to his dead wife and son. - milkyshe4mthCommented
no way 😀😀😀
When Ivan entered his home. He was met with a dreadful scene. His wife lay in the pool of her blood with three gunshot wounds splitting her head apart and two gunshot wounds on her stomach. His only child lay beside his mum with a single gunshot bullet wound on his head. As promised earlier, his precious pet dog was not spared in the slaughter. - milkyshe4mthCommented
Finally in chapter 4, loving the tension thus far^^ the cliffhanger at the end was killing me, but I will take my time to read the next chapter and the next² when I have the time to. Anyway, I love the flow of your plot, the interaction; everything feels natural. I love your writing style as well^^ it is something I would love to achieve in the future. Fast-paced, always keeping me at the edge of my tippy toes. Nice work! Will be looking forward
Ch 4 Mixed Feelings - milkyshe4mthCommented
Fianlly done in chapter 3. I like to keep things slow when I read^^ I love your story, can learn a lot while reading this. It definitely hooked me up! I might say this is going to be one of my most fave novel in this app^^ I am not much of a fan in Dark, Tragedy Genre but this one definitely changed my mind. Will continue reading!
Ch 3 The Choice - milkyshe4mthReplied to Tres_AguilaCh 1 Chapter 1
- milkyshe4mthCommentedCh 1 Artlyn Palace