Really interesting

Very triggering from the start

Pretty good story and setting just needs a little bit of editing . The story is intriguing and catchy . Recommended to dark character lovers. Do your best author . Keep going

why asking he must already know let him ask different question

edit this

setting is good

please edit it again

well written this paragraph

why would he say this is robbery . oh come on robbers never do that

please remember to correct your mistake

what ?? you wrote this kind of scene with his sister ???

self praise 🤣😂

nice start

I can read but can't imagine I wouldn't say that you are not a good writer I would say you are a great writer just needs experience Good luck Fighting

show his emotions like he pats his head or his eyes have a glimpse of emotions and you should write more about how and what they did while talking

A good and unique idea . The story is good overall just needs a little bit editing. It's setting and character development is really amazing Recommended Thumbs up

Just keep going

good luck