why isn't selene his partner yet... there relationship is not progressing at all... and of u dont kill her husband it will be hard to get them together

the only problem I have with this novel is they do everything together and his mom controls his life.... mc should have alone time withh each harem member

slow paced story's are only good when there is a bunch of chapters to read.... try to update chapters faster to not break the rhythm

nd it jumped from 2011 to 2014 like it's nothing

it's getting boring now.

again no dialogues no characters tht stood out in his journey... .. nitish may not be one dimensionsal player but ur writing style is pretty 1d

bro it seems like I am reding sandeep maheshwari's motivational speech.... bro u r not writing at this point it just sounds like u r lecturing us

there is no sense of time in ur writing men..... like 3 months later or something like tht should be there... otherwise how r we to know when it's happening

n u r mixing dates like he is 14 years old now and it will take 23 years for him to turn 37 his previous life debut.. . it's 2011 when he is 14 so according to the story he should be 37 in 2034 but u let him play 2022 t20 world Cup at 37... it's messed up men... .

and why aren't u using dialogues more. .. like there is no conversation between characters at all and we do not even know how they interract with one another u r forcing all the characters on us not letting them come out on their own... it's like u r telling us mc is hard working because he did this and that but what difficulties did he face when doing it... thts where the story falls short

n i get it he is hard working dedicated and focused but u r making a point to mention it atleast 10 times a chapter. . it seems like he's only thinking and not doing anything.. and the story is not moving forward at all

bro it's ok to write once . . thts motivation enough. ... .but u r adding 4 quotes a chapter... it's breaking the rhythm of the story.

putting*

and dont make mc a sissy by constantly thanking his teammates and coach. . . use details in his interviews or discussion with others like mc thought the opponent would do this so he bowled or batted that way

and instead of going the crowd cheered again and again and virat led his team. .. u should use scores. . like this bowler took the wicked and this way he did it. . and the best batting and bowling figures at the end of the inning this way we would know if the batsman is good or not or are they all just avg. players

you should write scores before and after every over the mc bowls and name the shot played by the batsman to make it easy to imagine and not let the flow of the story being disrupted.. ... and make important matches longer by giving over to over summary .. ... and dialogue between mc and his teammates must be there.... his relationship with his parents and classmates.. friends outside academy.....etc..

nyc

nyc