Kushina was allowed to leave the village with Minato, i don’t know when but she wasn’t kept in the village. More lazy writing again.

Substituting jutsu isn’t a hand sign it’s more of a kenjutus. Its a transformation jutsu on an object and a quick getaway usually with smoke to cover. It isn’t like teleportation… it’s closer to the body flicker technique. This fic is just filled with inconsistent content. Kinda irritating for someone who really like Naruto. Kinda lazy that a few clicks onto the wiki was too much for the author.

Bro shadowclone jutsu is one of Konoha is known for. Its a b rank jutsu and every ninja knows it. The multiple shadow clone jutsu is the forbidden one, and its only forbidden because it’s insane chakra toll on the body, this is stupid man. Just read the wiki, it shouldn’t be that hard☹️

Even tho I didn’t like the BE arc, my stones still go to this story, and im excited for the next arc.

Im here to read again. I really like the individualism that is put into each character. But personally I’m not as invested in Billy Elliot, I kinda just want it to be over, but author has very good and quick progression of the story so I’m going to let him cook for now. And it has great character development for Troy. Hopefully his interactions on the set of HP will give him a better experience with children his own age, but who knows.

Sure what ever you say buddy. I have already dropped it. And I think you’re the degenerate. You’re c*ck riding the author. The story just isn’t that great, and everything I said in my comment is true and offer criticism, others may not agree. But I truly don’t see this as a great story and the author will struggle with plot point in the future. But its multiverse so he can just go to another universe and be human there i geuss. But overall multiverse ff just aren’t great for authors who doesn’t have experience in writing or are new to it. And I understand your thoughts about other races, but DxD isn’t about humans, it’s echhi and about devils or the supernatural in general. I personally wouldn’t want to read a Pokemon ff if the mc doesn’t want to catch Pokémon’s and starts fighting them himself with martial arts. Did you feel personally attacked? 😎

Nice chapter man, really love the interaction and romance, but I want Swoles Pokémon’s to have an evolution soon, at least one of them or something.

Quite a disappointing story, the mc try so hard to be “alpha” anybody in their right mind would just think he’s a straight up loser. I understand that it’s written for fun, but it is very bad, has a lot of grammar mistakes and the mc is just plainly unlikeable. Dropping this.

I understand and respect that, and I’m sorry if my comment came across as harsh, but I do think you have the potential to do a lot better. So good luck with any future stories, cause I might read those, but this one definitely isn’t for me personally.

Im dropping this, it is very well written and lacks creativity it feels out of place in a DXD ff. And I now realize it is a multiverse ff, and if its already this low on quality in its DxD arc, then I don’t want to read the others. Its straight up the lazy writing and lack of creativity that killed my interest in continuing this ff. The interactions are very forced and the explanation the mc use in order to cover for his plot knowledge at borderline stupid and sound like a kid trying to be discreet in bragging about his intellect. The mc lacks a grounded character and it makes it hard to follow his thought processes as he doesn’t seem to have any, im guessing the author makes up the plot as he is writing. That itself isn’t bad but requires adequate storytelling and structural skills which the author seems to be lacking in. The critique can be taken any way wanted, but the author should study conversations and plot out his thoughts for the plot before just beginning to write.

Don’t write an DxD ff if you don’t want your mc to become a devil. That is literally the entire point and plot of DxD. And the fics always end up worse, because the author has to jump through hoops to make the plot make sense. Stop making the mc schizophrenic, his jumps from one emotion to the other doesn’t make sense and wasn’t properly established, it just suddenly happened. It’s like his character fundamentally changed after awakening his system. A lot of plot won’t work if the mc doesn’t become a devil and I honestly find it distasteful that someone with the memories about DxD can’t see the honest to god benefits they can get by becoming a servant under Rias. If the mc is half as smart as he is portrayed then despite his system he would choose to become a devil under Rias. Not only would it allow him to get a dream harem, the protection from Rias older brother is a must have in a world of myths and gods. And the knowledge of the plot would allow him adequate time and understanding to tackle the struggles he would undoubtedly experience. And there isn’t any established reason for his refusal other than he just doesn’t want to. The story itself isn’t bad, the grammar is fine the progression isn’t bad but there is a distinct lack of information or explanation and properly integrated explanation of his powers. Its lazy writing from my perspective.

Just binged this entire thing, took me 4 days, but its great. Keep going.

Another great ch. Im really looking forward to Troy getting some maybe actor friends his age aswell, maybe some funnier dialogue, especially with Emma Watson who just like Troy is quite mature for their age. Maybe Troy can make some pranks on set of HP. I know Allan Rickman used to prank Radcliff quite often. Just voicing my thoughts Mr. author.😎

Nice, this is a good one piece fic.

Nice, good ch.

Amen brother.

I actually like this fic, its a lot better than your last, more thought out. But I also want some romance soon, but not with tigress pls…

I know he is going to get the role, as far as I know Radcliffs parents didn’t even want him to become an actor. So with that dilemma, Troy would be a safer choice, aswell with the success of The Sixth Sense, then an obvious choice. But I like that you don’t just make it like it would be an easy victory for Troy, keep the suspense. Keep going, thx for the ch.😎

Love it, great chapter as always, take your time with the chapters as I think this story has great quality and potential. Idk what your ideas involved romance in the future is but Emma Watson seems like an obvious choice for a fling/relationship before he really gets into Hollywood. Maybe you have other ideas, but with him being smart and handsome I could see Emma gaining a crush though out their time filming together. Idk if you want to do the Rupert Grint as Ron, as you may have potential to make another actor as a more permanent friend aswell as an actor friend into the future of his career. Just my thoughts. Thx for the ch.😎

The only critique I have is that the chapters aren’t long enough to satisfy my selfish desires. Great chapter man!