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Malakai_Darkstar

Malakai_Darkstar

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2023-03-14 JoinedGlobal
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20
  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    This story is a captivating and intriguing tale that follows the journey of Braxis and his messed-up family. The author has skillfully crafted a plot that keeps the reader on the edge of their seat, eagerly waiting to see what happens next. The characters are well-developed and their interactions are both believable and engaging. The author's use of vivid descriptions and immersive language allows the reader to visualize the story's setting and feel the emotions of the characters. Overall, this story is a fantastic read that is sure to keep readers hooked until the very end.

    Retrying as a Villain Until I Get Things Right
    Fantasy · Salad_Adressing
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Commented

    I love isekais

    Ch 1 An Untimely Death
    Retrying as a Villain Until I Get Things Right
    Fantasy · Salad_Adressing
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    The beginning of this book introduces us to the protagonist, Summer, and her relationships with her family members, especially her mother, and father. The dialogue and interactions between the characters seem realistic and provide insight into their personalities and relationships. Summer's character is portrayed as someone who is struggling to balance her personal life and her responsibilities as the heiress to her father's company. The narrative also introduces us to another character, Cherish, who seems to share some similar experiences with Summer. The story is engaging, with a focus on the complexities of family dynamics and personal growth. It is clear that the author intends to explore themes of self-discovery, responsibility, and friendship as the book progresses. Although there are some pacing issues, such as the quick introduction of characters and events, the story has the potential to develop into an intriguing tale of personal transformation and the challenges of living under the spotlight. Overall, the beginning of this book holds promise and has the potential to keep readers engaged with its relatable characters and thought-provoking themes. However, some improvements in pacing and the development of the plot would enhance the reading experience.

    HE IS MY OBSESSION
    Urban · Redpen
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    The beginning of this book draws the reader in with its intriguing premise of a genetically modified mouse named Zed that has the potential to live indefinitely. The writing does an excellent job of describing the environment and characters, painting a vivid picture of the laboratory and its inhabitants. The interactions between the characters are engaging, and the dialogue is written in a way that feels natural and believable. The introduction of various scientific concepts, such as epigenetic modifications and nanobots, adds depth to the story and helps to create a believable world. The attention to detail in the experimental procedures is also commendable, as it adds to the realism of the story and increases the reader's immersion. The pacing of the story is well done, with the introduction of the conflict in the form of an attack on the laboratory adding tension and excitement to the narrative. This event creates a sense of urgency and raises questions about the motives behind the attack, keeping the reader engaged and eager to find out what happens next. Overall, the start of this book is captivating, with a unique premise, well-developed characters, and an intriguing conflict. With the combination of scientific concepts and action, it appeals to readers who enjoy science fiction and thriller genres. In conclusion, this book shows great potential and is off to a promising start. With some polishing and further development, it could become a captivating read for fans of science fiction and action thrillers.

    Beyond Genetics
    Sci-fi · Astralghost
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Commented

    Same my fellow edge skeleton

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    Skeleton Evolution, but why is evolution so interesting?
    Fantasy · Salad_Adressing
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    The opening chapters of this book set the stage for a captivating story, as readers are introduced to a dramatic scene at a ball where the protagonist, Emma Woods, is being accused of stealing a painting and passing it off as her own. The tension is palpable, and the author does an excellent job of immersing readers in the unfolding drama. In these initial chapters, the author effectively creates a sense of intrigue that compels the reader to continue and discover how Emma will navigate the challenges and accusations she faces. The characters are introduced with sufficient detail to understand their roles in the story, and the dialogue effectively conveys their emotions and reactions to the events taking place. The pacing in these chapters is fast, which works well to engage the reader and maintain their interest. However, as the story continues, the author may consider slowing down the pace at times to allow readers to better digest the events and emotions experienced by the characters. This could create a more satisfying narrative arc and deepen the readers' connection to the story. The author's descriptive language helps to paint a vivid picture of the ball's atmosphere, providing readers with a strong sense of the setting. As the story continues, it would be beneficial to maintain this level of description to ensure readers remain fully immersed in the world of the story. Based on these first few chapters, the book appears to be a promising and engaging tale. Readers are likely to be eager to continue on and discover how Emma navigates the challenges she faces and how the story unfolds. With a strong foundation laid in the opening chapters, the author has the potential to create a truly captivating and memorable story.

    Love Blossoms on Cruises
    Urban · Augustdsuza
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    The Nascent Bloodline is a story set in a world where humans with extraordinary abilities, called the Nascent Bloodline, coexist with the Paranormal humans. The story begins by setting up the history of the world, explaining the origin of the Nascent Bloodline, and their eventual decline. The narrative then moves forward 100,000 years later to focus on a young boy named Egon. The first chapter does an excellent job of establishing the world and its history. The concept of humans with incredible powers living among others is a well-explored theme in the fantasy genre, but the author manages to put a unique spin on it by focusing on the Nascent Bloodline as a dwindling race. The story of Tragon, the last Nascent Bloodline survivor, and his heroic deeds is gripping and adds depth to the world. In the second chapter, the story shifts to a new era called the "Infinity Era," where technology has progressed significantly, and humans have gained knowledge from an unknown species. The introduction of Egon and his mother adds a layer of mystery and intrigue to the story, and the sudden attack by mysterious creatures raises the stakes for the characters. The author's writing style is engaging, and the pacing of the story is well-balanced between world-building and action. However, there are a few areas where the narrative could be improved. For example: Show, don't tell: The story relies heavily on telling rather than showing. To improve the narrative, focus on showing the characters' actions, emotions, and surroundings through descriptive language and immersive details, rather than simply stating facts and events. This will create a more engaging and vivid reading experience. Pacing: The pacing of the story could be improved. The transition between scenes and the introduction of new characters feel rushed. Consider slowing down the pacing and providing more context to each scene, so the reader can better understand and engage with the story. Overall, The Nascent Bloodline is a promising start to a fascinating fantasy story.

    The Nascent Bloodline
    Sci-fi · Paul_Okito
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Replied to Paul_Okito

    Thank you so much for your kind words and feedback! I'm thrilled that you're enjoying the characters and the story settings. I appreciate your suggestion for more frequent updates. While I would love to provide daily updates, I also want to ensure that I'm maintaining the quality of the writing. I'll definitely try to increase the pace of updates as much as possible without compromising the story. Thanks again for your support and understanding!

    The Illusionist's Odyssey
    Fantasy · Malakai_Darkstar
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Commented

    I find it interesting how the father's character is portrayed in this chapter. He seems to possess a blend of wisdom, humor, and a touch of playfulness. His advice about prioritizing family over power, money, and riches provides a meaningful life lesson to his son Arlo. At the same time, the light-hearted banter about his attraction towards Anna and his quick wit to deflect the situation by turning it into a romantic story for his wife further adds depth to his character. The balance between serious and comical moments makes this chapter engaging and enjoyable to read.

    Ch 2 CHAPTER 2: MEETING OF A LIFETIME I -TOURNAMENT BEGINS
    FAMILY ABOVE ALL: BATTLING AGAINST GODS
    Fantasy · LittleGiant7
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    The first few chapters of this story showcase a mix of different genres, including fantasy, comedy, and adventure. The author's writing style is engaging and descriptive, which allows readers to easily visualize the scenes in their minds. The characters are distinct and have unique personalities that make them interesting to follow, and the dialogue between them is well-written, with humor and wit sprinkled throughout. However, there are some areas that could be improved upon. The transitions between different scenes and perspectives could be smoother to prevent confusion, and there are some grammatical errors and typos that could be corrected with thorough editing. Additionally, some parts of the story feel rushed, especially toward the end where a lot of information is presented in a short amount of time. Overall, the story has potential but could benefit from some editing and revisions to improve the pacing and clarity of the story.

    FAMILY ABOVE ALL: BATTLING AGAINST GODS
    Fantasy · LittleGiant7
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    We need to promote our book, don't we? My friend and I are rapidly improving our writing skills and thoroughly enjoying collaborating on this project. We hope to share the excitement with our readers as we unveil fascinating characters and explore a vast, Jupiter-sized world through our writing. Stay tuned for more updates on our progress!

    The Illusionist's Odyssey
    Fantasy · Malakai_Darkstar
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Commented

    Yummy!

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    Age Of Pokemon: I Started Flashing With My Handheld
    Eastern · Longevity_Star
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Commented

    Always fun to have a determined character!

    This paragraph has been deleted.
    Age Of Pokemon: I Started Flashing With My Handheld
    Eastern · Longevity_Star
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    I appreciate the diverse range of characters utilized in the story, and I find the flow of the narrative to be consistently smooth during scene transitions. There was only one minor issue with the spelling of "morphine." However, all in all, I found it to be a well-crafted and engaging piece of writing.

    Deleted story 12234445559053
    Urban · Mutya_author
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Commented

    Good for her still staying down to earth

    "Nurse Turner, do you have a moment?" Doctor Wilson calls me in. I like Dr. Wilson. She is a good caring doctor. She comes from a rich family. Her husband is a famous rock star. Still she managed to stay very kind and down to earth. In her office she tells me Alex Moore will be admitted for a couple of weeks. "He broke his hip so he will stay with us for 4 to 6 weeks. It's weird you would think someone who does his own stunts wouldn't fall like that" True that was weird, and I got why he needed to stay hospitalized longer. "He told me it wasn't luck that he survived. I didn't want to get too personal so I didn't ask. It seems like a calculated move though" I tell her honestly. This seems to show he is careless with he health. Or just a big risk taker like a lot of bored rich people are. But it is good to know when you are healing from a broken hip. We need to keep in mind that he might risk his healing process by being reckless.
    Deleted story 12234445559053
    Urban · Mutya_author
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Commented

    He sounds very handsome!

    I miss working in the ER. I miss working with real people with real problems and real fears. The promotion was something I couldn't really turn down or so I was told. Not to mention the fact that it had more regular hours, and better pay. Making life so much easier for all of us. So I took the job, and I pretend to be nice enough to my patients. "I don't know who truly is happy I am back." Does he actually expect me to pity him? He is crazy if he thinks I will give him a pep talk. "I am sure the masses of adoring fans that made it impossible for me to get to my job are thrilled to have you back." He looks at me like he is trying to read me as I write down his stats on his clipboard. "I take it you're not one of my adoring fans?" he asks with a sly smirk. Ready to hear me gush over his movies, over how attractive he is? He is attractive, dark blond hair in a messy blow out, gray eyes. And a sharp jaw with a slight stubble. Paired with the arrogant smirk of a man who knows just how stunning he is. That arrogant smirk is the reason it gives me great pleasure to tell him "No, I'm not a fan, I've never seen any of your movies. I am too busy, you know, actually making a difference."
    Deleted story 12234445559053
    Urban · Mutya_author
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Replied to Theothegiant

    Woops lol. The name sounded like a she to me

    Stuck with a top class gamer
    Action · Theothegiant
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    Upon completing the first chapter, I found myself instantly connecting with the protagonist, which may admittedly influence my perspective. The main character reveals that she has been living her life for her mother, which piques my interest in her upcoming character development. I eagerly anticipate witnessing her journey towards making decisions that bring her genuine happiness and personal fulfillment. This engaging narrative promises an insightful exploration of self-discovery and growth.

    Stuck with a top class gamer
    Action · Theothegiant
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    Dive into the enchanting world of Pokémon, where you'll be greeted by a delightful and wholesome universe filled with captivating creatures and intriguing characters. The vivid descriptions of the Pokémon and the engaging interactions between trainers truly bring the story to life. However, there are a few minor grammatical errors, and it would be great to see more depth in the main character's personality. Exploring their thoughts and emotions would enhance the reader's connection to the story. Nonetheless, this is an enjoyable and captivating read that will certainly pique the interest of Pokémon fans!

    POKEMON RISE
    Anime & Comics · Theothegiant
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  • Malakai_Darkstar
    Malakai_Darkstar1yr
    Posted

    I began reading at the introduction of a secondary character. The story incorporates vivid scenery and detailed descriptions, which effectively transport me into the narrative. The pacing remains consistent throughout. Incorporating more dialogue, particularly the character's thoughts in specific moments, would be an engaging addition. While the fight scenes are intense, assigning spell names to the corresponding incantations could further enhance the experience. In summary, the story is quite captivating!

    Dominating the game as an NPC
    Fantasy · King_Undead
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