RogueEnzo
New writer here to write stories that come to mind to pass the time.
Writing
of reading
1126
Read books
Here to review, the story is decent, I see you don't upload anymore chapters. But the story is decent. There's just things I have to ask. 1. What's this habit of not showing who's speaking in a lot of these systems and fantasy webnovels? 2. There's too much information to the point where it drags out the whole plot. Although I do love information, there's instances where you legit add stuff that doesn't need to be added. 3. It's a decent story but the plot line doesn't fit. I mean you stopped before any chapter so I can't really say anything, unless this is already completed. But if you do decide to come back; it would be nice to see what other things you might be doing with the plot.
I'm going to be honest as ever, as I would expect everyone else, who isn't a bot, to do the same. The story isn't good, but it's not bad. The grammar isn't good, sometimes you don't even know who's talking. You also have numerous sentences inside a quote without a break. I'm not a professional neither is many people. But I know those who are giving five stars saying it's the best novel they've ever read is straight up lying. I don't know if you've run this over with a grammar checker or use the money you get and get an editor; But the grammar and the story telling is off. I'm not trying to be harsh here. I believe this could be an insanely decent story (Although I'm not a fan of girls in covers for a story that has nothing to do with them) ; Clickbaiting etc (I dislike it,) but this story has a chance to be decent. Why not look at the reviews, ask people what can be done. That is what this is here for!