Vishisht_Magan
Hey there, if you are seeing this, then welcome to the profile of the future king of fanfictions! Somethings to note about me are: I love To Your Eternity, Severus Snape (Snily) and Hikigaya Hachiman.
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you my sir, are the only one who acknowledges the true GOATedness of our lord and saviour Hikigaya Hachiman
And once, very few rare instances...A god arrives who completely turns the plot on its head...That's you Hikigaya, always hiding in plain sight, because people are too busy looking in the shadows
The greatest to live and the one to defeat the monster that is Ayanokoji
a self aware Yandere...that's a scary combo my friend
that's right, it all started when your father rapped me, his tongue was so fast, I could barely comprehend what was happening, his hands were moving everywhere, and his voice, well it just made me feel chills....the lyrics could have used some work though
she was prepared to make him watch Boku no Pico...in dub
don't you give up, na na na, i won't give up, na na na, let me love you...
author for future purposes, Luffy doesn't think.... seriously, he doesn't even have though bubbles
8man, that you?
Stealth Hikki?
eeeelaborate please
The chapter length has been short, Arthur is like a Gary Stu Malfoy felt OOC, and the OCs lack any contribution towards the story, but I think what your strengths are the OCs themselves, Iris feels like a great mentor and her feud with Dumbledore and Lily can be expanded on and while Elias may feel like a Ron, he is different in the way that he would be what you would expect from a side character that actually helps and contributes, sort of like Hermione but without the annoying traits, the mystery, suspense, and world-building, now I know Harry Potter is an already established world but your focus on the story of Arthur and the consequences of the actions of the previous generation we find out gradually, is impeccable. Let me know what type of Author you want to be and what your goals are, I might be able to help. I have deep knowledge regarding tropes.
My guy this story is amazing, don't drop it please, you are doing great, i love it, you will become a great author, please just don't drop the story, i really want to know more about Snape's impact on this world, and if you turn this into a series, then let me tell you, your world building is amazing, please please please dont drop it
Tsugikuni-san's personality is different. Yoriichi doesn't have a presence and he would never get angry. Please correct that. This fanfic has potential don't ruin it, Unlike other One Piece swordsman that have a battle spirit and overwhelming presence, Yoriichi doesn't, thus he can become very strong. Good Job though, you have a potential to become a great writer
Ok, thank you for mentioning Lily, I can't wait to see Arthur interacting with Lily, please continue with the fanfic, I'm loving it very much, just wished the chapters were a bit longer, but honestly I am loving this, thank you so much. You are doing quite well for an amateur author, keep working hard, you will become a great author one day [img=recommend]