DiesWrites
Hi! I'm Dies. I really like web/light novels, which is why I decided to write my own and would like if you could help me improve my writing!
Writing
of reading
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Tbh, I made this novel with the idea that "things would just happen" and our protagonist wouldn't be able to do anything about that.
Couldn't. That's too high level for our protagonist.
Overall, the story is good and some parts can be fixed, but it's definitely a hidden gem, just a bit unpolished. The writing sometimes makes several words capitalized for some reason, which is odd, but other than that, nothing else really stuck out. For now, I recommend the dear author to reflect the emotions of the characters first to make their attributes shine and differentiate them from anybody else. Sometimes, you can even just brute force it and straight up just tell us what the characters are feeling and how they deal with this emotion, good or bad. Overall, it's pretty good, but can be even better.
Really solid writing, the mood and tone has been laid out nicely. I like the slow start, solidifying the importance of the MC in his previous life before introducing the next. I think that's really well done. Amazing job with all that. It was a great read.
Wait, this guy was still here?
Hey, I just dm-ed you. It's a little nitpicky, but I find it hard to imagine a nurse scared by blood. Sure, they'll be startled or horrified, especially by the amount, that much is for certain. But I don't think they'll be THAT put off by it, y'know? They work with blood on surgeries, after all. Again, I'm being nitpicky here. Still, though, the way you stretch tension is AMAZING. It really solidifies the feeling of dread and the heavy atmosphere, not to mention the way you enhanced this by the description of the setting from the first scene. Great job!❤
Sadly, no. I actually forgot that they were still in the water when I wrote this.