Fictor
18 year old Aspiring novel writer
of reading
27
Read books
Wonderfully articulated novel! The characters each have personalities that bring them to life through their narrations,the atmosphere of the story keeps it suspenseful as well as amusing due to the MC persona.Absolutely love the sarcastic and overall sassy attitude of the MC it keeps the reader hooked on each line,wondering what cheeky things she will utter next. The narrative does feel a be tasking to follow with the third person perspective but that also makes it as interesting as it is.The only two areas that I think need improving is character description and setting/world description,for example, a mysterious woman appeared from the mist,scarlet eyes piercing through gray gloom as her silvery hair flash back and forth behind her slender frame.By doing this readers understand characters better as well as appreciate them more. Overall good narrative and I wish you success in your novel writing!
Superb storytelling,the setting is refined,the detail is refined and the intense of each stanza is like a fresh patch of dopamine thats keeps the reader in high suspense.There is a tiny bit of grammatically but those can be reworked easily.Overrall a good hook and a good writing continue to pursue greater heights with my full support!