The story arc is intriguing, it pulls in the reader. I also love the flow - so accommodating. This story should become a movie, it's relatable and natural, regardless of the loopholes and flaws pointed. The MC has great potential and I will look to see her grow in this story. I can tell the writer has started her journey and this is her first trialer story (if there's anything like that). Keep writing and growing. Thanks for sharing this with us.

I love the premise. Very understandable and amazing - my favorite new word: 'intriguing'. I stumbled on lots of grammar errors, which were distracting. I saw disconnections and jumps within scenes. The flow is calm, and stable to accommodate all readers, except the jumps. Great work. Keep writing and improving.