MC is forced to relentlessly train at 1 years old. He’s forced into dumb situations by his system. He has wild character swings when facing his sister. Author makes characters that constantly hit and demean MC (namely his parents). By chapter 2 you realize how lacking the story is.

Bro what did you have him do in that time skip? Before it you mentioned knowing Itachi was a spy but it seems like he just went brain dead for 7 years? How is he not married yet either if they confessed during the war years ago? Would he not have allies or some economic ties to the feudal lords by now or something since he hasn’t focused on the village at all? I’m deeply confused by your story. I also think you repeat the same thing constantly and dramatically

Do the Prussians still think of Westerosi as savages? I think you could include some dialogue that might suggest that in a more subtle way. I doubt they’d be overt in their distain, but it would be cool to see a smart character catch onto it.

I’m not sure how it would fit but you could incorporate some type of music/opera hall being built to reinforce how artistically/culturally advanced the Prussians are compared to the Westerosi

Use the code where? You don’t have a discord link for the channel?

I can’t find the discord, any tips?

The idea is there it just doesn’t make much sense to me. The template is a drawback since he’s hiding the whole time so there’s no reward for all the added difficulty it gives him. He doesn’t explore chakra or any releases (I stopped when he was about to fight before chunin exam) and he says “fuck canon” but doesn’t really change anything up to this point. Specifically his brother being left to the 3rd’s manipulations bothers me. It just seems like there’s not any effort put into reasoning, he’s just doing shit and everyone doesn’t ask questions. Author makes a point to highlight how ‘real’ this darker world is but then makes those same dark ninjas be dumb/trusting.

Tbh his faking arrogance in front of people is one of my favorite components of this story. I almost cried while laughing when he was in the forest and his people just randomly popped up and he had to keep up the facade

Bro, even reading all the other comments I couldn’t stop myself from writing this. I know I’m late, but hear me out. I am dropping this novel from here on. It just doesn’t make sense anymore. I can at least say it was surprising. After Bri, there should be no way this could happen. This entire story has preached how much he loves his mother but he has no safety measures in place for this? Okay, it was a secret deal with someone she thought she could trust. But, you alluded to weird behavior from a known untrustworthy source along with the MC having warg powers and non-death fearingly loyal guards. They failed once already. I can’t understand how his strongest knight let the MC’s most precious person safety be at risk again. Not to mention the green people you introduced or even his close relationship with nature when Bri was murdered. Wouldn’t a powerful and overprotective person have someone watching, secret safety measures or even magic protecting his mom? Okay, you don’t want the story to have no surprises, anyone could die, the game of thrones is not so simple, etc. etc.. But the mother was special. I don’t see how it’s justifiable that an educated, loyal population and battle hardened, city conquering vetarans wouldn’t take into account betrayal from a Bolton. I think it should be Intrigue-101 to expect the unexpected when your turncoat starts killing all the eyes you have on him. Literally anyone other than the mom could be explained away with what you’ve written so far. I saw in the comments you mentioned not wanting to abuse wargs and dreams. I would argue that that that’s exactly what they’re there for. You have them on ALL of the MC’s ships. And I just thought about this but, where are the beasts the MC’s tamed? Not one of them follow his mom? Sorry, back to my point.. Prophetic dreams? Not even one? Even if he didn’t understand the threat he saw in it, I could accept this kidnapping if there was a chance it could have been avoided. Chalk it up to a lacking MC and have him learn a lesson after she kills herself instead of being taken. Allowing her to keep the dignity you’ve built into her character. I know that doesn’t fit with her character or their house words/catchphrases but it would have been better than this. It just feels like you’re using his abilities when you want to and ignoring them when it’s convienent for the plot points you want to have in your story. With the way her guards are casually letting her do whatever she want unimpededly, this just feels forced. That’s your right as a writer but it breaks emersion when done in my opinion. How cool would it be if he tried her kidnapping only to be met by all his ships simultaneously exploding by wildfyre and armed guards pointed at his nose from within the mist and her ice cold gaze overbearingly staring at him with pity for his foolishness? You could spend a few chapters detailing how stupid he was to expect a woman who led her house for years to not see through his schemes. Maybe I’m shouting into the winds here, but I liked your story enough to share this.

I mean.. I understand that you want to build the harem, but the premise of this FF is that he perfect controls his and other people’s biology. Sooo this feels super forced. Combined with memories from past life/MANAS ability you gave, it just throws me off that he isn’t doing anything to curb his ‘instinct’. If you were gonna go this route I think you should have wiped his personality from the beginning and made it so he was discovering/learning right and wrong anew. That way the reader(myself) wouldn’t see it from a modern day perspective. This feels almost like if Yamaha was perving on Pam

I’m just curious how author can justify Ethan taking the Philospher’s stone from a magic based defense system set up by Dumbledore (with no real description of how) but couldn’t steal a diary from a first year student or Lucius. I mean, I think he’s trolling? But kudos, I was irritated enough to comment.

I don’t understand the logic behind why the coalition formed and why the church has not found him yet. They don’t need to be so spread out that they fear an attack at their core since the world announcements have been updating them of his general position this whole time.