Tronic42
Writing
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But you are only at chapter 34 on pat. or am I missing something? Thanks regardless for the chapter!
Writing quality is nice and update stability as well. My major complaint is the mc though. He is, imo, pretty assholish. He is illustrated as cold and heartless to OG Thomas‘ family. I mean I get that you are shocked and so on, but he is acting like an emo brat which puts me off to be honest. So I will not continue to read because the personality of the mc is not my cup of tea. Nonetheless, other people might like it more so good luck to you author!
Stolen storys from ff.net. Naruto: Uchiha Chronicles by NXSE and revolution by cloud9stories. Shameless „author“
I have to agree with that. McGonagall tells him something and he’s all „absorbing“ the knowledge and the understanding between them being highlighted at like 3 different parts… don’t try to make everything dramatic. And don’t explain every feeling and thought in 5 different ways isn’t the same chapter. Sometimes telling less is more.
I am a little confused about the knowledge of the mc. Does he know about the One Piece anime/manga or not? Because he obviously knows about Luffy (the chapter where he thinks about fate and luffys dream of becoming the pirate king) but on the other hand he does not understand why he could not touch smoker…at least I got that impression from his thoughts.
I only read the beginning chapters of your original fic but did not enjoy the Character so much. This fic on the other hand is really appealing to me. I like the progression of strength you are showing and the impact that Obsetrvation Haki has in the East Blue is really funny to read.Good job and thank you!
Is he not a SI? He should know about Sky Island, should he not?
Is this a repost? I am pretty sure I already read this story…if I am not mistaken he will separate from Jiraiya and hide in Kusa? and encounter Karin., where Jiraiya will find him again
It still does not make sense, that he is proud of Kid murdering everyone who is in his way if you just previously alluded to him becoming a „good guy“ because he did not like how unjust the people and system is. It’s like him protecting vivi because it is the right thing but at the same time would probably laugh if Kid would murder one instead…
12 3/6 inches…maybe just say 12 1/2 inches instead :D
Nice. Was unsure if you would kill off vergo but I’m happy you did :)
Ok, strong start, but this killed the story for me. He is accepting to surrender his entire magical knowledge he will create and discover for what? A few weeks of magical tutelage. And he was about to graduate from college? He did not even try to write the professors or ask for help in the bookstore for maybe generalized instructions… Bye
To be honest Sasuke needs to understand that in the Elemental nations you either are a civilian or you accept being a shinobi and what comes with it. It is impossible to expect a peaceful life once he goes rogue. He will be hunted by Konoha and every other village and bountyhunter. That is inescapable. It is also naive to think, that in our society there are not black ops where potentially innocent people die. The only fifference between a soldier and a shinobi is that a soldier can probably retire whenever he wants unlike a shinobi.
Explanation of Hyperhidrosis is missing.
Such a Gaara thing to do :D
He tries to not use them because of the color.