David_Shandler
I write stuff.
Writing
of reading
18
Read books
Ngl, very good story. The only thing that i think the author could improve on is the writing quality, and I look forward to what's gonna happen later. I'd say that from now on spend more time making the language sound better and then go back and fix the chapters that you've already wrote. This has potential to be a really popular novel. 👍
Just a random suggestion, maybe be more descriptive and write "eyes that shone with unwavering loyalty" instead of "eyes that showed loyalty" or even more descriptive like "eyes that sparkled with determination and devotion, reflecting a steadfast commitment to the Demon Lord." In general I'd recommend more adjectives.
Good story telling
I like ur humor.
I think you meant to type 66,666$? Unless that is intentional, I'd recommend changing the " ' " into " , "
are meals that expensive?
Cool start, makes me want to learn what its about
Good catch. I fixed it so that he still remembers but he doesn't care.